[FEAT BC Admin]

In this discussion area, please feel free to share your experience in implementing A.B.A. programs in the school system. We would particularly like to hear from those parents who converted their school teams to A.B.A. We’d like to hear the nightmares as well as the success stories.

Any insight that can be shared by school-based special education assistants to help parents would also be very meaningful.

Topic

[Deleted User]

I feel a deep sorrow that our children are being left out etc…but trying to hide a diagnosis isn't going to change a thing for our kids. They are who they are..and I suppose now would be a good time for us to accept them and teach them to accept themselves. This is something that we live with every day..are we going to let it disable us or can we rise above and create friendships for ourselves that promote acceptance and not ridicule? Tell me, would you really want to be friends with someone that looks down her nose at you anyway?

[Deleted User]

I don't know where those parents are who try to understand and get to know autism – they certainly aren't at my school!

My son started kindergarten in a segregated classroom and I loved it because all the kids in the class had disabilities and the parents were all understanding. My son was integrated in March of his kindergarten year into a classroom where his kindergarten teacher didn't speak to him, me, or his aide for 3 days.. 3 days!! We had him moved. In the meantime, what child is going to show acceptance when the teacher herself doesn't? There was one mom who would very briefly make eye contact with me during those months but all the others purposefully, and with intent, kept their distance. Birthday invitations were handed out to EVERYONE in the class with the exception of my son. My son knew what birthday invitations were and he watched as the birthday child handed them out, eyes happy, waiting for his.. that never came. I was devasted but the parent just snubbed me and walked away.

My son is in grade 3 now and still has yet to receive a birthday invitation or an invitation for a playdate. He's only mildly autistic so the kids can understand him and the girls will have a little to do with him in the classroom but the boys are mean, name-call and purposely leave him out of their playground time.

If my child were to reach the point where he was indistinguishable from his peers would I hide his diagnosis? You bet I would.

[Deleted User]

Be proud of your child for who she/he is. I've learned to tune out the parents at my daughters school who don't understand and who avoid inviting my daughter to anything. There are plenty of parents who do understand and try to get to know and understand autism. Don't worry about the rest of them. I'm not sure why you want the diagnosis hidden…

[Deleted User]

Hello FEAT parents. I am experiencing a problem at school this year and am looking for advice. My child has been in a program for several years and has reached the point where they are pretty much indistinguishable from their peers. As we started a new school this year, no one knew of our "diagnosis" and we were able to start off very fresh.

We have an aide in the classroom who is one of our therapists and very discreet. Because our child is doing so well, the aide is often at the back of the room, not having to be right beside our child. While this allowed for some anonymity it also created questions in the minds of the other parents mostly "who is that woman and why is she here?"

We were fortunate that the teacher and the aide have both said things LIke she is here to help a child with a speech delay etc. But apparently some of the parents don't "buy it" and somehow some of the parents have heard that the child the aide is there for is autistic. The pieces are beginning to be put together. And now my child's fresh start is not so fresh.

In the past we have always been very open and honest about our diagnosis because our child was very different. THis year I felt that our child had a chance to be like everyone else and as we are fading the aide out I was hoping that nothing would come of it. In the past we experienced some difficult times, parents not wanting to have their child become friends with our child, our child being excluded from birthday parties… all the usual that I'm sure many of you can relate to. When people don't understand, they can treat our children very differently.

And now as more questions are being asked, I am feeling a bit concerned as to how to deal with them. I am worried about being honest and my child finding themselves not being treated like every other child. But I also worry that in being dishonest, the truth will still surface and then people will wonder why I lied!

AHHHHH! Okay, I need some advice, anyone have any good ideas on how to handle this?

Much appreciated. I hope people feel comfortable posting to the board because I did want to remain anonymous in this post. Apparently lots of people read this board who are not actually parents of children with autism (a lesson I learned the hard way a few months ago)

thanks

[Deleted User]

Dear Melodie,

I have worked for two familes in private preschools. The familes waved the subsidy for a Ministry appointed aid and hired myself using Kindergarden Transition Funding and IEII. I worked in the home with the child and at the Preschools in order to promote response generalization of the ABA programs we had started in the home. Some private Preschools will only hire their own aids so you need to research the preschools in your area. When your son enters the public school system hiring an aid and incorporating your aid into the school becomes a whole different issue. I have worked in two public schools with autistic children and the decision for me to be there took months of parents arguing with the districts and my time in the classroom/playground is minimal. I hope this helps.

[Melodie Pilloud]

Hello All, I am a little confused and this is the only place I know I can get the answer to my questions and concerns. The Ministry is looking into putting Ty into pre school…. but when I ask if I can have one of my therapists go to school and work with him they say no. Okay then how does he go to school and work on the same things he will be working on at home? I do not want him getting confused on things and I do not want all the training he gets at home to be lost from going to pre school and dealing with someone who knows nothing of ABA Lovaas. Please if anyone can let me know how this all works, so I do not make a mistake. Thank you very much, Melodie (Ty's mom) m_pilloud@yahoo.ca

[Tamara Drager]

Hello! I have been reading the messages posted on this board and am so saddened by the frustration with the school board. I am an S.E.A. with the Surrey school district and have been asking for the last few months how I go about getting the training to be an ABA therapist. I never get an answer because it is always being "discussed." Does anyone have any recent information on this? My E-mail address is tamaradrager@hotmail.com

[Graham Egli]

Hi,
You may email me at gegli@dragoncross.com

Also you may fax me at 604-263-6596

Thanks,

GRAHAM K. EGLI

Original post:
By Anonymous on Thursday, November 7, 2002 – 02:36 pm:

Dear Graham, if you post your email (and a fax # if you have one) I
would be happy to get you some info that should help. Unfortunately
I cannot discuss on this board.

Just another guy who has been there and who's child suffered that.

[Jovana Ivanovic]

To Anonymous at 02:36pm:

Could you please send me the info you have for Graham, I will be in the same situation next year and I've just started researching options for my daughter.

Thanks,
Jovana (ivanovic@telus.net)

[Deleted User]

Dear Graham, if you post your email (and a fax # if you have one) I would be happy to get you some info that should help. Unfortunately I cannot discuss on this board.

Just another guy who has been there and who's child suffered that.

[Author]

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