[Deleted User]

I think that we need to educate parents so that they can instill appropriate values of acceptance, tolerance, understanding, etc. in their children. Last year, I had four special needs students integrated into my classroom. When I phoned a parent of a typical student regarding their son/daughter's truancy, I was told that their child didn't want to attend class because of that "special needs student" in it. They then asked me why that student was in class? Were they learning anything? how unfair it was to the other children…etc. As a parent of a special needs child, it was a real eye opener. Kids don't have a chance of learning acceptance if mom and dad are so intolerant.

[Deleted User]

I also feel great sorrow about your situation
(being snubbed by other parents). Not all parents are so awful, kids are learning to be leary of others who are different from their parents. In the school my children are in , they have organized an " information session" for parents about autism. All are invited to " uncover the mystery" of autism, and so they can have the tools to answer any questions their children have. Hopefully this will also assist the parents to accept and include all the children in the class. I wonder, if you chose to let other parents know of you sons diagnosis, if a similar info session would help to create a better environment?

[Deleted User]

Don't get me wrong…I understand fully and completely when the birthday invites come and they don't for my child…I was told at the end of Kindergarden last year that the parents were going to have play dates every wednesday, and they'd give me a call (during the summer months)…none of them ever called, and this year, when I run into them, I just walk right by…I don't care what they think about me being snobby or whatever…What has been lucky for us, is that this year a little girl in my daughter's class has an older sister with disabilities and she, and her friends, and their parents have been very understanding, and very supportive..not all in the grade though…we get the strange looks and stuff, but my daughter is extremely special, happy, smart, and the other kids and their parents could certainly learn a few things from her. I guess when I say, be proud..it's that I'm proud that my daughter does not make fun of anyone, she doesn't notice differences in people, and she has a pure soul. I know that she is going to have social problems as she gets older, but hopefully the ABA she is getting now will teach her to recognize the "bad apples"…Those parents that are so naive are a bad influence on their kids and not worth the thought…

[Deleted User]

I feel a deep sorrow that our children are being left out etc…but trying to hide a diagnosis isn't going to change a thing for our kids. They are who they are..and I suppose now would be a good time for us to accept them and teach them to accept themselves. This is something that we live with every day..are we going to let it disable us or can we rise above and create friendships for ourselves that promote acceptance and not ridicule? Tell me, would you really want to be friends with someone that looks down her nose at you anyway?

[Deleted User]

**Monday Dec.9/2002 New Westminster City Council Meeting — motion put forward by New Westminster City Councillor Casey Cook, it passed unanimously:

Whereas a recent B.C. Court of Appeal decision upheld the original B.C. Supreme Court decision of the Auton case (year 2000), whereby it was determined that for autistic children the Province was in breach of the Charter of Rights, and

Whereas, throughout this hard-fought battle with the Government of the day, the then Opposition Liberals pledged unequivocal support for all children and families living with Autism, and upon election promising justice for these families, and

Whereas, the current government is now seeking leave to appeal this most recent verdict to the Supreme Court of Canada, a decision which effectively further delays justice for autistic children and their families across the province,

Be it resolved, that this Council write the Premier and the Attorney-General to express extreme disappointment in this most recent development and request that, in the interest of justice, the government rescind the request for leave to appeal the Auton decision to the Supreme Court of Canada, and further,

That this motion be forwarded to our local Member of Parliament, our M.L.A., and our local Board of School Trustees, for their support, so that we may show a strong, united New Westminster opposition to this action; and that this motion be circulated through the U.B.C.M. to encourage other Councils and school boards to voice the same to the Premier,the Attorney-General and to their (the councils and school boards) respective M.L.A.s .
————————————————–
*fyi — for those who aren't familiar with U.B.C.M., it stands for the Union of British Columbia Municipalities.

[Deleted User]

I don't know where those parents are who try to understand and get to know autism – they certainly aren't at my school!

My son started kindergarten in a segregated classroom and I loved it because all the kids in the class had disabilities and the parents were all understanding. My son was integrated in March of his kindergarten year into a classroom where his kindergarten teacher didn't speak to him, me, or his aide for 3 days.. 3 days!! We had him moved. In the meantime, what child is going to show acceptance when the teacher herself doesn't? There was one mom who would very briefly make eye contact with me during those months but all the others purposefully, and with intent, kept their distance. Birthday invitations were handed out to EVERYONE in the class with the exception of my son. My son knew what birthday invitations were and he watched as the birthday child handed them out, eyes happy, waiting for his.. that never came. I was devasted but the parent just snubbed me and walked away.

My son is in grade 3 now and still has yet to receive a birthday invitation or an invitation for a playdate. He's only mildly autistic so the kids can understand him and the girls will have a little to do with him in the classroom but the boys are mean, name-call and purposely leave him out of their playground time.

If my child were to reach the point where he was indistinguishable from his peers would I hide his diagnosis? You bet I would.

[Deleted User]

Be proud of your child for who she/he is. I've learned to tune out the parents at my daughters school who don't understand and who avoid inviting my daughter to anything. There are plenty of parents who do understand and try to get to know and understand autism. Don't worry about the rest of them. I'm not sure why you want the diagnosis hidden…

[Deleted User]

Hello FEAT parents. I am experiencing a problem at school this year and am looking for advice. My child has been in a program for several years and has reached the point where they are pretty much indistinguishable from their peers. As we started a new school this year, no one knew of our "diagnosis" and we were able to start off very fresh.

We have an aide in the classroom who is one of our therapists and very discreet. Because our child is doing so well, the aide is often at the back of the room, not having to be right beside our child. While this allowed for some anonymity it also created questions in the minds of the other parents mostly "who is that woman and why is she here?"

We were fortunate that the teacher and the aide have both said things LIke she is here to help a child with a speech delay etc. But apparently some of the parents don't "buy it" and somehow some of the parents have heard that the child the aide is there for is autistic. The pieces are beginning to be put together. And now my child's fresh start is not so fresh.

In the past we have always been very open and honest about our diagnosis because our child was very different. THis year I felt that our child had a chance to be like everyone else and as we are fading the aide out I was hoping that nothing would come of it. In the past we experienced some difficult times, parents not wanting to have their child become friends with our child, our child being excluded from birthday parties… all the usual that I'm sure many of you can relate to. When people don't understand, they can treat our children very differently.

And now as more questions are being asked, I am feeling a bit concerned as to how to deal with them. I am worried about being honest and my child finding themselves not being treated like every other child. But I also worry that in being dishonest, the truth will still surface and then people will wonder why I lied!

AHHHHH! Okay, I need some advice, anyone have any good ideas on how to handle this?

Much appreciated. I hope people feel comfortable posting to the board because I did want to remain anonymous in this post. Apparently lots of people read this board who are not actually parents of children with autism (a lesson I learned the hard way a few months ago)

thanks

[Deleted User]

Hello,
I am trying to get in touch with Paolo Aquilini. My home phone number is (250) 598-9701.
Thanks,
Franca

[Deleted User]

B.C. Liberals still confuse wrong for right in autism case

Vancouver Sun

Friday, December 06, 2002
ADVERTISEMENT

The Liberals are at it again. Up is down, black is white, and B.C.'s most vulnerable people aren't getting any money because the government's spending it on the wealthy.

The latest in skewed priorities is the government's decision to appeal the matter of funding for autism therapy to the Supreme Court of Canada.

In October, the B.C. Court of Appeal ordered the province to pay for the intensive treatment, known as Lovaas therapy. It involves up to 40 hours of treatment a week and costs $60,000 per child per year.

Despite its high cost, studies suggest that the therapy is highly effective: The total cost for care of untreated children over their lifetimes is three times that of children who receive the therapy.

So, as we said when the Liberals took the case to court, refusing to pay for the treatment makes no financial sense. It makes no ethical sense either, since the government has an obligation to help its most vulnerable citizens. But this is an administration that chooses to continue to give subsidized drug benefits to wealthy seniors while cutting funds for homecare and nursing homes that aid poor seniors and the seriously ill.

The ministry of the attorney-general said it's not concerned with the specific funding order, but with the broad implications of the Court of Appeal's decision.

We warned the Liberals of exactly that. At the time of the B.C. court's ruling, we noted it could establish a "positive right" to government funded treatment, a dangerous precedent that could open the floodgates and lead to numerous plaintiffs claiming rights to a vast panoply of treatments.

We also noted, however, that the precedent would never have been set had the government done the right thing and funded the autism therapy in the first place.

But where up is down and black is white, it's no surprise that they confuse wrong for right.

© Copyright 2002 Vancouver Sun

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