[Joanna Ng]

Hi. Does anyone know if there is a support group in Burnaby area? Thank you.

[Joanna Ng]

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michaelangelo David. The Gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and say, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?", you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there has been a change in flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met. It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they're bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never,ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the lovely things…about Holland.

[Joanna Ng]

Hi Brad, Roxanne.

Unlike your case, I have to deal with my 4 year old who likes to sleep till 8am or more but wouldn't sleep till 11 at night. How's that? Many a times, we, the parents are yawning again and again and here's our toddler… singing at 11pm on his bed even when the lights are off.

Sleep issues have always been a part of our lives. If your kid tucks into bed as early as 7 or 8pm, of course they'll wake up early. They get hungry too, since their little tummy is waking them up.

Likewise, is there something you can do with his bedroom? Like, is it too bright? [Summer is coming and my kid used to wake up early due to the sunlight].

I have friends who bring the kids swimming and shared that their kids do sleep better.

Good luck.

[Joanna Ng]

Although I have not watched all the Hollywood movies that touched on the spectrum, I would like to share a Japanese drama with more realistic and shows a truer sense of what families like us have gone through and are going through in real life.

Drama title: "With the light….embracing autism."

This is the link

http://www.mysoju.com/hikari-to-tomo-ni/

Don't worry. It has English subtitle. Humbly hope that para-professionals would watch it too.

[Joanna Ng]

It is very sad to know many more children are being diagnosed. If only I could have GOD's grace to transfer all my child's special needs to myself…

Anyway, for the new parents looking for Consultants. There are many B. Consulting firms now, more than half a year when I started.

It is very important to ensure that the consultant you are being assigned to is truly a BCBA holder. Go through the RASP list as guided, and also, check out the 'grandfathered list'.

Consultants have very different packages now. But normally, due to the enormous amount of waiting lists, they have program supervisor or intern.

Do not hesitate to ask anything and everything…some charge differently for assessment, for writing a Behavioral Plan, for training the team and so on. And some charge the so called in-direct fees, where the BCs do not come to your house/community settings but do their work elsewhere e.g. handling phone-calls, emails, etc.

Carefully go through this realistically and of course, most beneficial to your child. It is best not to rush into anyone just because you wanted to rush. Any changes in the future will cost more $$$ and worse, it cost our children their precious time.

We are so blessed to have this blog where parents can share and help each other. This is how we grow and most of all, our children benefits from our knowledge.

I believe many parents are actively involved in their chidlren's ABA program. And it is very crucial because at the end, we are their parents.

[Joanna Ng]

For new parents and those who are opting to open a RDSP account, I would strongly advise not to pick TD Canada Trust.

Reasons, they are ill-equipped of the 'D' word. The specialists of TD Canada Trust have a lack of communication with TD Waterhouse, which handles the plan.

TD Waterhouse took 36days to open the account and so resulted in a failure to contribute for last year'••••• is very upsetting.

[Joanna Ng]

Barbara, your message came in a timely manner because I've just mailed out my agreements.

Like you said, I wouldn't touch on why the mass is punished for a few…because for the past year, the 'whys' have killed a lot of my cells. Just imagine who would vote for the HST. Aren't the citizens of Canada clear enough but look at our [pathetic, blood-sucking] government. HST is coming to every home in July, be it you are rich or poor. So, this is not a so democratic country after all, but certainly not the worst.

You are so right that the MCFD does want to take full control of the funding. However, I care more about when it's all invoice payment, how many more staffs will be employed to do a stinking job whereas the $$$ can be more fully utilized in helping more individuals on the spectrum.

I believe every $ spent on these wasted effort can be channeled into more humane and wise way.

Just look at The BC Centre for Ability. It has a hell long waiting list of clients….but they say they have no $$$, blah-blah-blah.

MCFD says [no guarantee] that they will issue the payment within 30 days to our service providers. The latter claim it depends on the staff who's working on it. So, wish us all the best of luck.

That being said, I wouldn't worry much about that monthly funding because it's only half of what I'm spending. So, for me, I will pay my BIs through my own pocket because they are students and have my other more professional service providers go through the bureaucrats [hell, hope they won't curse me for saying this].

Finally, take it easy, parents. Nothing is worse than knowing the diagnosis of our beloved ones and live with it[I mean the diagnosis]. Cheers.

[Joanna Ng]

Recently attended a 1.5 day workshop organized by the Autism Society of BC on ¡°The ABC¡¯s of ABA & Play, Reinforcement and Manding.¡±

Was truly excited and look forward to it. However, instead of getting straight into ABA, we wasted a heck of time listening [AGAIN and AGAIN] to the definition of Autism, its causes [of course, still unknown ¨C then stop talking about it!] the statistics and so on. On that day, the topic changed – it became ¡°Introduction to Autism. The ABC¡¯s of ABA & Play, Reinforcement and Manding¡±.

And, ladies and gentlemen, I don¡¯t care whether it is 1 in 500 or 1 in 150 who has autism ¨C coz I¡¯m involved anyway. But I will be interested if someone tells me that 30% [or more] of our politicians has children with autism, because then sure thing Medicare is NOW FOR autism.

And for organizers of any workshop from now on, please, please do not waste your precious time doing the same thing¡­trying to teach things that everyone knows ¨C the introductory about A. Trust me, as parents, we¡¯ve done our homework¡­more than you think. You can still have it in the notes, but no point reading them through. Otherwise, the presenter will be blaming its audience for having a heavy lunch and feeling sleepy after lunch break.

At the end of the day, it¡¯s not only the ABC¡¯s of ABA which I expected, I¡¯ve also learned P&P in a class-setting. What¡¯s the P&P? Pride and Prejudice.

Quote: ¡°I¡¯ve always loved our Canadian Culture because we teach our children to use ¡°Please¡± and ¡°Thank you.¡± Well, I am sure all races and cultures do. The reason we think others don¡¯t is that we understand none other than our own language.

[Joanna Ng]

Good morning.

My kid is a preschooler so I only have experience with preschools and would like to share a couple of words.

I recently heard that a toddler with autism has been kicked out [you didn't hear me wrong] from his preschool in South Burnaby. Reasons: the teachers demand that the child sits for the whole circle time but he couldn't; one of the two teachers openly expressed that he/she could NOT tolerate this child with autism.

I am truly sorry for this child and family. But being kicked out and seeking another preschool is not the only thing to do. Let's share the good news AND the bad news.

BTW, I was told that it is G.L.C. Preschool on Nelson Ave. Oh yeah, I know them. They called me before ¨C telling me that my son is on the very top of the waiting list and asked that I pay the registration fees to hold the spot. But after I told them his condition and that he needs an SEA, they gave me another call to say they DO NOT have a spot after all.

Also, from my personal experience, try to avoid the parents¡¯ participation preschools. Like its name, the PPP normally only has one teacher and the rest are parents-on-duty. Without my consent, the teacher whispered to another parent, ¡°Her son has autism.¡±

Before wasting my precious time predicting what¡¯s worse to come, I pulled him out that very night and I am glad I did.

Maybe it¡¯s time to ask the Ministry what¡¯s the exclusion about and the people who exercise them.

[Joanna Ng]

Hi.

Family in Burnaby urgently needs an ABA tutor/therapist who can take weekdays shift from 1pm-3pm.

Child is 4 years old diagnosed with ASD, sweet but quiet. Candidate needs to be fun and energetic. Training will be provided.
Consultant is Bohdanna Popowycz Kvam from Harmony House.

Please e-mail: hana.takuya@yahoo.com

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