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  • in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3842
    David Chan
    Member

    Thanks Bev,

    Beat me to it.

    Mr. P's Dad

    in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3848
    David Chan
    Member

    Well Janet,

    One of the things that I've said for many years is that the first casualty of the Autism wars is innocence. I loathe it that I've become one of the most jaded people I've met.

    Though it was many years ago, it has left me wounded. My experience has been, it's all great till it isn't. We'd love to have you and welcome. OH, you wanna what ? for your child… no, no, in our system……

    The truth is, it would be so socially unacceptable shun special needs kids, that I doubt if anyone would outwardly exhibit this behavior. Again, this is me being incredibly jaded.

    By the sound of things, with diminishing resources etc. systemic change will be a long time coming.

    People often ask me if I'm a glass half full or half empty, when it comes to the progress in the Autism treatment/ school integration. I see some really cool stuff, but, there is such disparity from district to district. My answer is there is water in the glass, but there's also a hole in the cup.

    The fight is to keep water in the cup.

    I've always said that when it comes the Autism wars for your kid.
    "it's all great, till it isn't"

    I do firmly believe when it comes to treatment / integration.

    The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.

    That's why I always end by saying fight the good fight. As exhausting as it may sound, we parents will soldier on.

    All the best,

    Fight the good fight.

    Mr. P's Dad

    in reply to: Room One: General Topics Discussion #6937
    David Chan
    Member

    A man never stood so tall as when he stoops to help a child.

    If you have a child on the spectrum you have done your share of stooping.

    Well, there comes a time when stooping stops.

    In order to get the job done for our kid, sometimes you just have to kick bottom and take names.

    Jean Lewis has been there done that got the video for advocacy, being on the steering committee of both the landmark Auton case for autism funding, and the Hewko case for reasonable accommodations of autistic students.

    Stooping is not on the agenda of this particular workshop.

    Advocacy 101

    “It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act.”

    As the parent of a special needs child, you must represent your child’s interests at school, in the community, everywhere. You cannot leave this job to others!

    Advocacy is not a complex or mysterious process. It requires clarity, focus and persistence. It also requires certain skills:

    This workshop will teach you how to:

    · Gather facts, organize information, get ready

    · Understand the Rules of the Game

    · Plan and prepare for success

    · Document, document, document

    · Ask the right questions…listen to the answers

    · Identify problems and propose solutions

    · Drive the process

    Advocacy at School

    “A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother.” Charles Schulz

    This workshop will teach you how to:

    · Become your child’s case manager

    · Understand your school district’s Rules of the Game…who are the players and decision makers?

    · Overcome objections and pitfalls

    · Design an effective IEP

    · Create effective paper trails, prepare documentation and letters

    · Prepare for and manage school meetings

    · Understand and use the Hewko decision

    Autism treatment funding – securing its

    future:

    The landmark Auton decision is the only reason any autism funding exists today. This funding is in jeopardy because there is no statute law to protect it. The decision to continue funding or not can be made on a whim by provincial politicians.

    · Learn the history of the fight to have medically necessary autism treatment universally accessible and covered by Medicare.

    · Learn why we need a Canadians with Disabilites Act and an Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.

    · Learn about recent and future initiatives to enshrine autism treatment under Medicare

    · Learn why your children need you to get involved

    We believe people learn best by “doing” rather than watching – so – be prepared to participate and receive on-the-job coaching. We promise you have never had this much fun in the school principal’s office. Several “guest players” will help us create some of the most common and troubling “school scenarios” for us to practice our newly-acquired advocacy skills.

    Register today – don’t miss out, limited spaces available.

    Saturday, April 30th _ 8:30 am to 3:30 pm

    Burnaby Heritage Village Carousel Activity Room

    6501 Deer Lake Avenue, Burnaby BC

    $119.00 per person/$189.00 per couple – lunch included

    *All proceeds will go to Medicare for Autism Now’s advocacy initiatives

    To register: Email: mfanow@gmail.com or call 604-290-5737

    in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3850
    David Chan
    Member

    A short addendum,

    As you all know, Chan very chinese, my people are fatalist, in other words, if you have a special needs kid, it's fate, and it sucks to be you.

    So all this high falutin' integration just wouldn't and shouldn't happen, cuz it simply sucks to be you to have special needs kid.
    and since it's fate, why do anything about it.

    Being ESL, I try to gain some understanding of western values by reading some english literature.

    When I came upon this line

    "Ah,but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for ?"

    Robert Browing

    Since I now live in the west, I keep reaching.

    Mr. P's dad

    in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3851
    David Chan
    Member

    Mr. Integration here,

    I completely agree, one size fits all doesn't serve anyone, however, that said. Every effort has to made to INTEGRATE that student in the school community. This is a complicate piece. the object is to have the typical population interact with the student. Having them present in the building is not integration. Interaction is the key. It's time to think of kids as assets, not liabilities.

    Please don't go down the functional level road either. We as a community have decided that we don't isolate and institutionalize people that have special needs, then, it's time to step up to the plate and accommodate. Talk is cheap. Time to step up.

    Truth, having a special needs kid in the building is it' uncomfortable as hell, for students, teachers, administrators. We all have our comfort zones and prefer to stay there, and why shouldn't you. it's a universal law, things will travel one direction unless you exert an external force (thank you Isaac Newton). That external force is our will to do things differently, to overcome our discomfort in order to make a better community.

    Integration is a pandora's box, a good box, but it challenges us to be better than ourselves. It's not cheap or easy, but we have to have the collective will to make it happen.

    How else are the future adults, that's right all those little guys in elementary school they are the future adults of the planet going to learn to deal with differences if all the people that have differences are segregated. Not separate because of need, but expedience. No one denies that there will be times when the student will learn best in a separate setting, but one of the main goals of having the student at school is meaningful mutual interaction.

    Let me illustrate this by a little observation I made last easter. Last easter, and old ( i mean long time) university friend of ours came to visit. She is a thalidomide survivor. Which is to say she has quite under developed arms. We're walking about as visitors will, and we couldn't help notice that people about 40 plus would stare, people that were younger would go about their business.

    The conclusion we could only come to was that if you're 40 and under, you were exposed more to people with disabilities because of integration, and 40 plus, not so much.

    Integration,as I see it, is constructive interaction with community. and when you are between the ages of 5 and 17, your community is your school, you're suppose to spend 6 hours there a day. then your family, your church etc.

    Well that's my two cents.

    Fight the good fight people.

    Mr. P's Dad

    in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3857
    David Chan
    Member

    Dear Janet,

    Thank you for articulating the situation so very well. It's good to hear from some on in the trenches. I really feel your pain, to get it once and school, and then again at home, hats off to you.

    I reason I wrote the post was to get the ball rolling. I think what was most frustrating for me was to hear the same rhetoric 10 years on. It seems that the situation hasn't improved,rather it's gotten worse, upsetting to say the least.

    I totally understand the position of the BCTF person that was on the radio. She is the union representative, and her job is, and I compeletely understand, is to get the best possible pay and working conditions for the members of the union. It seems disingenuous for her to wrap herself around the flag and champion the cause of our children as well.

    How it comes across it appears, is, having these kids underfunded in our classrooms is a detriment to all concerned. And since we are at the mercy of funding whether it's from the district or the ministry, we are hamstrung.

    The subtext seems to be the "Typical" population would be better served if these kids were just no part of classroom, and since by definition, all of the special kids are in the minority, segregating them would serve the greater good. More over these special kids would be better served. This is where the rationalizing begins people.

    Thin wedge of the edge, be afraid, very afraid. I'm not naive enough to think that it won't happen, special classrooms, separate campuses.. it can,and will happen unless all of us speak up.

    Integrating all these special needs kids is expensive, very expensive, but the truth of it is that it is the MORALLY correct thing to do.

    I think that as a collective of parents, teachers, therapist, have to make that clear to the powers that be. Passing the blame from administrator, to school district, and ministry of education simply isn't good enough.

    There are no simple solutions. If there were we wouldn't be talking about it on this board now. Integration isn't CHEAP, but it's the morally correct thing. Since when do we put a price on doing the RIGHT thing.

    One foot out of the trench, and now fighting a different battle.

    Fight the good fight people.

    Mr. P's Dad

    in reply to: Room Four: School Related Topics #3859
    David Chan
    Member

    Ok, all you smart people out there, let me raise this issue with you guys. I was driving along this morning listening to Bill Good talk to the head BCTF lady, about them having a strike in September… Heads up we know this will happen, they will then be legislated back to work so be prepared.

    I was the usual the Special needs kids and ESL kids are making our lives a living hell, and it's NOT the money, it's the class composition. So the rhetoric continues about how they believe in integration, yadayadayada, but they are underfunded, and the kids don't get enough support…. but it's not about the MONEY.

    You folks out there are really smart, so here it is. I was able to do it with my kid from Grade 3 to Grade 12. I really see this problem is one of scale. I was successful with on kid, how do we scale this for the kids that are in the system now.

    OK smart people chime in we'd all like to hear it.

    in reply to: Room One: General Topics Discussion #6944
    David Chan
    Member

    It's interesting how things go. You think that there are these hugh moments and yet, they just quietly come.

    We had one of those moments today. First time in his personal history. Mr. P went to the gym, on his own. Well, put it this way, (we had him stalked. Blind observation) He had no idea that he was being observed. Took the bus from our house to the Gym, not far, about a 5 minute bus ride, across one street, and a parking lot, then into the gym.

    Everything went smoothly, Oh yeah, when he got there, he realized that he had forgotten his gym shoes. What to do ? Phone home and ask for help of course. So he did. I brought him his shoes, and away he went. An hour of Cardio, and home on the bus.

    For most young adults, no big whoop, but for Mr. P it's the first baby step to some independence. Do the work, and it just kind of creeps up on you.

    Oh yeah, he's dragon boating too. Keeps him in good shape.

    All he needs now is a paying gig.

    I always think that it's about the work and not the outcome, I guess it's because there is a tiny bit of an artist ( if you call photography art) inside of me. But just the odd time, outcome is pretty cool.

    Just the same, doing the work is doing the work.. so keep doing it.

    Mr. P's Dad

    in reply to: Room One: General Topics Discussion #6950
    David Chan
    Member

    Hi All,

    One of the things that I miss the most about being Mr. P's dad is you lose faith in the milk of human kindness, which is to say people come in and out of the house, as if there is a revolving door. So about 4 years ago, a young man finished his turn with P after four years. In between time, P would email him, and once in a while they would just go out on outings just as friends.

    The ebb and flow of life continues, P would email, and we would hear from him from time to time.

    Last Wednesday night. P and I was just returning from Dragon Boat practice, when we noticed a familiar car parked on the opposite side of the street. Low and behold it was it was N, the young man that had moved on some 4 years ago.

    He's getting married, and P and the whole clan are invited. I guess it was a really nice feeling, just to know that we aren't forgotten.

    It's a small thing, but it's a reminder that there are some really good people in the world, and once in while, you will encounter them.

    You just don't get that a whole lot in the land of Autism. Just thought I'd share.

    Mr. P's Dad

    Just and update on Mr. P, he graduated from high school in June of last year, he continues to have tutors come and work on independence skills like taking the bus, and shopping. He does volunteer shopping for seniors once a week. All in all, a lot of progress since those dark days in late '90's.

    That said, a shout out to all the pillars of the community, and captains of industries out there who have followed Mr P through the years. A very capable young man is looking to work for YOU, for real, for pay,especially in the Richmond area. We will supply the job coach. feel free to contact me neatpix@shaw.ca

    keep fighting the good fight people

    mr. P's dad

    in reply to: Room One: General Topics Discussion #7027
    David Chan
    Member

    What's really cool is when you start something as a program and then the skill just shows up.

    Here's the story, A few, or maybe three summers ago, we thought being half chinese, it would be kinda cool to teach using Chop-sticks, not a big deal, not a deal breaker if he mastered it or not, kind of a filler activity.

    Well, we worked with small erasers cut up, in any event, after a while, lots of stuff came up, there was more important stuff came up, school started, he'd use them off and on no biggie.

    Last nite, we had dinner with my parents, and out of the blue, he got his usual knife and fork, sure enough, in a chinese resturrant that makes u stand out. As it were, we started eating, well, he decide, no prompting from anyone to pick up his food with Chopsticks, and voila, away he went.

    It starts with teaching a skill, generalizing skill, and using it, the whole enchilada.

    Thanks for throwing us a bone big guy

    Mr. P's Dad

Viewing 10 posts - 31 through 40 (of 210 total)