[David Chan]

Ya know,

I won't even get in to a literal joust with our
anonymous poster. There are many more
eloquent people on this board, you know who
you are……A_ _ _y.

Let 's just agree this isn't the right board for
you. So have a great summer. Sleep soundly
knowing that nothing will have changed for
autistic children because of your gallant
efforts. At the end of the day they are just
someone else's children.

Not Afraid to be Identified

David
Mr. P's Dad

[David Chan]

Truth my dear,

It isn't about YOU, it's about the KIDS.

Almost never Anonymous

Dave
Mr. P's Dad

[David Chan]

Dear Mr./Ms. Anon EA:

I rarely post on this board, but your statements
have so inflamed me that I cannot remain
silent.

It alarms me to no end that you think it's
perfectly reasonable for a school (who has no
medical jurisdiction whatsover) to how decide
whether a child will receive medically
necessary Lovaas-style ABA or not. Step
outside your current position and do a little
critical thinking. Autism is a highly complex
neurological disorder with an almost infinite
number of manifestations. How could
someone whose area of expertise is
operating a school make a sound decision
regarding a child with this disorder?? Would
you consult an electrician when deciding
whether your child needed neurosurgery?? It
doesn't make sense, does it?

I too am very alarmed that you bring this
incredible naivete to work with you each day
as you attempt to help this child with "the most
serious psychopathology of childhood"–aka
autism. I hope that the parents of the child in
question are comfortable with your "que sera
sera" outlook on this issue.

Please thoroughly educate yourself on the
gravely serious issue of schools failing to
meet the requirements of children with autism
before you presume to offer advice on this
board.

Julia
Mr. P's Mom

p.s. As a matter of public record, our
"kindness" died, and our son missed his
entire Grade 2 year because the
administrators of his school knew better than
we did. However, the bitter truth is that "no
school is better than bad school". He's doing
phenomenally better now, because we've
found a place where Lovaas is "allowed".

apologies if we posted twice

[David Chan]

Dear Mr./Ms. Anon EA:

I rarely post on this board, but your statements
have so inflamed me that I cannot remain
silent.

It alarms me to no end that you think it's
perfectly reasonable for a school (who has no
medical jurisdiction whatsover) to how decide
whether a child will receive medically
necessary Lovaas-style ABA or not. Step
outside your current position and do a little
critical thinking. Autism is a highly complex
neurological disorder with an almost infinite
number of manifestations. How could
someone whose area of expertise is
operating a school make a sound decision
regarding a child with this disorder?? Would
you consult an electrician when deciding
whether your child needed neurosurgery?? It
doesn't make sense, does it?

I too am very alarmed that you bring this
incredible naivete to work with you each day
as you attempt to help this child with "the most
serious psychopathology of childhood"–aka
autism. I hope that the parents of the child in
question are comfortable with your "que sera
sera" outlook on this issue.

Please thoroughly educate yourself on the
gravely serious issue of schools failing to
meet the requirements of children with autism
before you presume to offer advice on this
board.

Julia
Mr. P's Mom

p.s. As a matter of public record, our
"kindness" died, and our son missed his
entire Grade 2 year because the
administrators of his school knew better than
we did. However, the bitter truth is that "no
school is better than bad school". He's doing
phenomenally better now, because we've
found a place where Lovaas is "allowed".

[David Chan]

Amen,

Thanks, Avery, and Robin , et al.

Dear Anon,

We are not these people you see in school.
We never ever in our wildest dreams thought
we would become "those kind of parents" in
the school.
We are fighting for our children's lives.
We are the ones that these kids go home to
every night.
We DON'T get to go home at 3:05. It's NOT
our paying gig — It's infinitely more serious
than that.
PARENTS are the only people that have an
on-going vested interest in these children's
well being that extends beyond the beginning
of summer vacation.
Make no mistake, we will be unapologetically
passionate when it comes to OUR children .

We do what we have to. I have said this
before on this board. Our children are
dependent on the"kindness of strangers".

Why the heck should they have to be ?

Dave
Mr. P's Dad

[David Chan]

Hi all

Just got an e-mail from the FEAT classified
from a 17 year old who is interested in ABA
therapy. On its own, the post is not all that
remarkable because lots of people want to
help autistic people.

I think what is significant is that she got her
exposure to Autism because there was a child
in her school. Her response to a child on an
ABA program is the following:

"I am endlessly intrigued by all I learn through
the ABA program. I have been fortunate
enough to have had the chance to work with a
15-year-old Autistic girl at my school for 1 year,
and am looking to expand my knowledge of
ABA and I would like to work with younger
children as well as older."

I think the key word in her statement is
FORTUNATE, That, dear friends is why our
children should not be segregated. instead
they should be fully intergrated into the
general school population. It's not only for the
benefit for our children with autism but for the
"REST OF THE CHILDREN"

Dear friends , true awareness doesn't start
with adults and resource teachers,
consultants and therapist. It stars with
children. Telethons, and fundraisers don't
mean a thing. Until you have lived with and
interacted with that treated child in your
community. Until that happens, the same old
sterotypes will continue.

More power to our kids in REGULAR school.
NOT "special" schools.

Keep up all the good work.

Mr.P's Dad

"Yes he is in REGULAR school"

[David Chan]

Hi all

Mr. P's Great grandmother died on last
Tuesday, We all gathered for the funeral
services on Saturday. Everyone was sad,
upset, all the things that people feel at
funerals.

Great-grandma had been ill for sometime, so
it did not come as a surprise to anyone in the
family. When great-grandma was went into
the palliative care unit on Friday before the
long weekend, we all sat down in our living
room and explained to both Mr. P and his six
year old sister what was happening. Our boy,
understood what was happening well enough
to say that" I am going to miss Tai-Po (what
we called great-grandma) very much" and he
started to cry; so did everyone else in the living
room.

They went to the hospital to visit a few times
during the long weekend, and Tai po was still
quite lucid, They had a good visit and they
ended with kisses and Hi-fives for the
children.

Tai-po passed away peacefully on Tuesday
night.

What has all of that have to do with Lovaas??

My wife and I were really worried about how to
explain all this stuff to Mr. P and his sister, and
how things were going to be handled during
the services etc.

First of all, without Lovaas intervention, would
we even have been able to SIT in the living
room for our little chat.

During the funeral services, we wrote out a
sequence of events will take place, he read it
and followed it. Again, would that have been
possible with out ABA intervention?

During the funeral, He leaned over and
whispered" mom is sad, but I'm not going to
cry", "I'm having really good attitude". Again,
what would he have done with out
intervention?

He stood by his grandparents and and
great-grandfather through out the day, and
asked them " are you OK ?"

Our guy did really, really good.

What did my wife and I take away from all this?

Well, Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate,
the depth of understanding of our kid. Don't
sell him short, he understood.

We must have expectations of these kids-
that's why they are doing therapy. We
expected him to behave appropriately, and he
did, the other "feelings" stuff was a gift, and we
are grateful.

Will Lovaas solve the problems of global
warming, or the SARS epidemic or Mad cow
disease. I don't think so.

What Lovaas was able to do is to give a little
boy dignity, and a chance to be part of his
family.

The way that our guy, behaved and interacted
in this past week. Great-grandma would
definately approve.

Sorry for the ramble, I just thought I would
share. So hang in there all.

We still have a long road ahead

Still grammatically challenged

Dave

P.S. sorry for the second post, I hate it when I
spot errors after I push the post button

[David Chan]

Hi all

Mr. P's Great grandmother died on last
Tuesday, We all gathered for the funeral
services on Saturday. Everyone was sad,
upset, all the things that people feel at
funerals.

Great-grandma had been ill for sometime, so
it did not come as a surprise to anyone in the
family. When great-grandma was went into
the palliative care unit on Friday before the
long weekend, we all sat down in our living
room and explained to both Mr. P and his six
year old sister what was happening. Our boy,
understood what was happening well enough
to say that" I am going to miss Tai-Po (what
we called great-grandma) very much" and he
started to cry; so did everyone else in the living
room.

They went to the hospital to visit a few times
during the long weekend, and Tai po was still
quite lucid, They had a good visit and they
ended with kisses and Hi-fives for the
children.

Tai-po passed away peacefully on Tuesday
night.

What has all of that have to do with Lovaas??

My wife and I were really worried about how to
explain all this stuff to Mr. P and his sister, and
how things were going to be handled during
the services etc.

First of all, without Lovaas intervention, would
we even have been able to SIT in the living
room for our little chat.

During the funeral services, we wrote out a
sequence of events will take place, he read it
and followed it. Again, would that have been
possible with out ABA intervention?

During the funeral, He leaned over and
whispered" mom is sad, but I'm not going to
cry", "I'm having really good attitude". Again,
what would he have done with out
intervention?

He stood by his grandparents and and
great-grandfather through out the day, and
asked them " are you OK ?"

Our guy did really, really good.

What did my wife and I take away from all this?

Well, Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate,
the depth of understanding of our kid. Don't
sell him short, he understood.

We must have expectations of these kids-
that's why they are doing therapy. We
expected him to behave appropriately, and he
did, the other "feelings" stuff was a gift, and we
are grateful.

Will Lovaas solve the problems of global
warming, or the SARS epidemic or Mad cow
disease. I don't think so.

What Lovaas was to give a little boy dignity,
and a chance to be part of our family.

The way that our guy, behaved and interacted
in this past week. Great-grandma would
definately approve.

Sorry for the ramble, I just thought I would
share. So hang in there all.

We still have a long road ahead

Still grammatically challenged

Dave

[David Chan]

hey guys,

did anyone watch 60 mins tonite
I was in the other room, but I thought i heard
them mention that there was going to be a
piece on Autism coming up or something,
was it just me… any way it might be a good
piece. who knows.

Dave
Mr. P's Dad

[David Chan]

to anonymous on X'mas eve

I don't presume to speak for all of us
interventionists. Truth is, you made the choice
of ABA intervention for your child, she certainly
didn't. So welcome to the club of
interventionists, I guess.

X'mas morning was brilliant here. The
mayhem was just delightful. it was all so very
typical.

That's why we take the time to intervene

Happy holidays all

Dave
Mr. P's Dad

[Author]

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