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Debra Antifaev
MemberWow!
Thanks everyone for the postings and friendly 'phone calls. I am sorry to be so needy and whiney but I honestly did not think that my "Tina the Elephant" post would create such a stir. I was simply musing on the irony of the situation and wishing my son could get that kind of coverage on TV. I was wishing that the public could be more disgusted about the treatment of our children. I am absolutely thrilled that Tina will be going to some nice home in the States!Lucky elephant……
Deb
MemberTo Anon,
On a day when I was feeling teary and sad because
A. our funding was cut and
B. people made some very unkind comments about my son while we were shopping (not the last I will hear, I am sure)
I turned to the chat to muse that sometimes I become very weary from fighting constantly for something that should now be my child's right.
We DO continue to fight and we DO try to be part of the solution and their are times we turn to this parent support CHAT when we are feeling the most vunerable for what it is supposed to offer…support.
I am sorry that my heart felt sadness angered anon. I could join the many that will not post to this CHAT any more but I feel that defeats the purpose. There is much work still to do and I will "chin up", take direction and continue the fight for our children as I have for the past three and a half years.
All I ask is that, if you are going to tell a weary parent that they are not entitled to their feelings, just please identify yourself.
I only have your word that you are not a "Government" person and many have tried in the past to upset parents on this CHAT under the "cloak of anonimity".
For just the wee bit I have done, as least I deserve that….Deb
Ben's momMemberI was just sitting at my computer musing about the huge public outcry when the story of Tina the Elephant was broken. How outraged people were about her cruel treatment.
It seems the discrimination of our Autistic children has hit a new low and has crossed all boundaries.
There is public outcry for racism, mistreatment of seniors, "normal" children and ANIMALS but no enormous public outcry for the "Children of a Lesser God".
It's all very sad…..Deb
Ben's MomMemberHi everybody,
I am preparing a letter to send to the Ministry of Education regarding the problems I am having with my school district (Surrey)
I know that I have already spoken to a great many of you and have your stories but, if there are any other parents out there having a battle and experiencing problems, please contact me.
I know that many of you think the district is "just about to meet your needs" and you don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. Let me assure you that this is merely a stalling tactic used by the districts to "run-out" the school year and nothing will be done in the end, regardless of whether or not you speak out.
Please email directly at dmantifaev@shaw.ca, I would love to hear from youDebra
Ben's MomMemberHow many parents are receiving enough money for their Lovaas therapy?
How many parents have been stalled in the quagmire that is the "multi-disciplinary" evaluation?
How many parents have had to become accountants and quasi-lawyers to negotiate the complex, badly written paper work?
Minister Reid's comments are offensive!
Shame on her and shame on the Liberal Government.
Statements full of untruths are called LIES.
People who tell lies are LIARSShame on this Government. We see clearly now what they think of our children and their value to society. I can "smell" an appeal coming on.
Shame! They would rather waste another small fortune on legal fees than on children.
Disgusted and disappointed,
Debra
Ben's MomMemberDear Parents,
I think we need to send EMAILS to Ministers Hogg,
Reid, and Deputy Minister Haynes also.
gordon.hogg.mla@leg.bc.ca
Chris.Haynes@gems1.gov.bc.ca
linda.reid.mla@leg.bc.caWe need a response as to what these people intend for our children TODAY. We have all waited long enough.
The misinformation in the MCFD is horriffic.
At a speech at the Centre for Ability, a couple of weeks ago, Minister Linda Reid actually said that if Lovaas were the treatment for autism, then there would be no more Autism!! Here's a news flash ….
A treatment can only work if it is USED. Most people cannot afford Lovaas Treatment!
MCFD has repeatly told new parents that Lovaas is "cruel and invasive" "the wrong one" or simply too expensive for them to contemplate and then the MCFD uses, as their argument, that not all parents want Lovaas ABA. No kidding, who would want to use a treatment, that you were just told was cruel, on your child.
MCFD has repeatly told people, and the media, that the lawsuit was about children under six and that the Judge approved of their EIBI program.
THESE ARE LIES!!
I cannot state this more strongly. Justice Allen wrote her judgment BEFORE the Government EIBI opened, unless she is a time traveller there is no way she could endorse it. She said that ALL children, regardless of age, had had their Charter Rights breached.
Don't let these Ministries get away with this misinformation any more.Puffing and panting and filled with righteous indignation and wondering where we go from here….,
Deb
Ben's MomMemberDear Parents,
Just as an addendum, (and a continuation of this "love-fest"!) we should all remember that many, many, years ago Dr. Ivar Lovaas started with just an idea.
It took years to perfect his technique and, some may say, it is a work in progress.
We still have a great way to go in changing the minds of Government workers, MLA's and various bereaucrats who still labour under the belief that there is no TREATMENT for autism. Partially, I believe, because they do not really see the "worth" in these children and partially because they make their salaries denying the effectiveness of Dr. Lovaas' methods.
Minister Reid and the MCFD are so very wrong on this count.
Today they lost their appeal of our lawsuit.
Today they were proven more WRONG than ever!
Congratulations FEAT!
Congrats especially to Sabrina and Jean, I know how much you have personally sacrificed to make this a reality. I owe you a huge debt of gratitude.Gratefully,
Deb
Ben's MomMemberDear Anonymous,
You may call it a fluke because, as we know, all our children are different and that is why our ABA programs are taylored, by professionals, to each particular child.
I think that you are one of those wonderfully intuative (spelling?) parents, from the age before Lovaas, who saw an opportunity and took it.
I, myself, have NO imagination what-so-ever and could never have designed such a program.Good for you and thanks for sharing !
Deb
Ben's MomMemberHi everyone,
As a follow up to Nancy's post, the Autism Society of BC did not always represent all of the parents of Autistic children in BC. When I 'phone for advice in February of 2000 I was told that some people considered Lovaas ABA "invasive and cruel". (Indeed, some very misinformed people still believe that to be the case)
I almost did not start a program but, I am happy to report, I decided to research a little more and not listen to misrepresentations of very old studies.
The ASBC board is now compiled of half FEAT members and half non FEAT members. I thought this would be a great mix for the future, but the Government service providers disagreed and fought very hard to keep their "hold" on the board.
As was recently quoted on the Bill Good program, "follow the money". The Government service providers have alot to lose if people stop using their services!
On a lighter note; if you have joined the ASBC and if you have started an ABA program or are in the process, (I encourage you to do both!)please send me your information.
I am trying to maintain a list of FEAT and ASBC members. I will reward you with my awesome recipe for crab dip!Drop me a line at
dmantifaev@shaw.ca or 'phone
604-531-1846Thanks, Deb
Ben's momMemberDear Lisa,
I, for one, certainly hope that the last post is not your last post. I enjoy all discussion on this board and I always find your posts interesting.
I tend to agree with Sabrina, that sometimes the meanings of our posts can be misunderstood. I thought the last two post I had written were emotionless and informative and yet my buddy Nancy thought I was mad at her and appologised to me. I have re-read them and still find them "sterile".
It is all in the interpretation.
I must warn you, Lisa, there are some people who post on here and do not reveal their names because they are not really "one of us". I had one of my posts printed up and used against me in a legal forum by people I do not consider my "friends".
This CHAT is a forum for parents of autistic children to exchange views and try to help each-other, but it is also used by some unfriendly people to gain information about us and try to upset us.
I don't care how you spell or what you write, just as long as you write. I think some of the "grammatically challenged" (to quote Dave and Mr. P) are the best, most honest and enlightning posts on this CHAT.
Don't be upset, Lisa, think of the "nasties" as just "nasties" and come on back.Deb
Ben's Mom
also grammatically challenged! -
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