[Debra Antifaev]

I would like to follow along the line of Stephen's last brilliant post about the how the "one size fits all" approach (similar to the Government-cookie-cutter-discount-Autism-keep-the-civil-servants-employed-denying-our-children therapy…as I often refer to it) can actually damage our children.
I know only too well how tempting it is, when you are faced with losing your house (and your mind) to steal ideas from other people's programs and hope their strategies will work as well with your child…..it can often leave you with months of work to repair the "damage".
Very wise post, Stephen.
On that note, does anyone know anything about the "Learning for Autism" school through the Vancouver Resource Society announced in the Province paper this morning?
It is supposed to provide one-on-one attention to high needs students with Autism. I am praying it is a step in the right direction but I fear it will be another make-work program run/administrated by one of the discredited bunch.
Anyone heard?

Deb
Ben's Mom

[Debra Antifaev]

Fabulous letter and idea, Andrew. As much as I loathe the idea of yet another piece of corrospondence I will do my best to follow your lead.
My point of emphasis will be that we require only the science-based, ABA protocol that Dr. Lovaas developed….not any of the programs currently being offerd by the BC Government in BC and in the schools right now.
Please remember the words of Dr. Richard Foxx about it being our DUTY to refuse fraudulent, unproven programs before they get a foothold in our schools and communities and are impossible to remove.
I have just received a letter from a speech path in Surrey annoyed at my refusing an unproven school program. I firmly believe that this program will not benefit my severely disabled son and that I am within my rights to refuse it. I will not accept anything less than the best for my son….to me it is like treating cancer with asprin…it won't work (it could even harm him) and I cannot afford to waste my son's precious time on another experiment by the people in Government programs so desperate to hold onto their jobs.
I am very, very tired of asking civil servants, service providers, MLAs and MPs to do the right thing.
…but, I will continue…polite…but adamant…that my son deserves what all other "normal" children have…..PROVEN medically necessary treatment for his medical condition.
Have a great day everyone!

Deb
Ben's Mom

[Debra Antifaev]

HI Everyone!

Just a quick note to let you all know that we have just returned from Disneyland, California. While that, in itself, is not earth-shattering the treatment we received in Disneyland is.
We had heard that Disney no longer provided special needs passes and were very worried as we had booked our trip over a year ago and our son is VERY severely Autistic.
Just to let everyone know….Disney could not have been more accommodating. They were so friendly and understanding.
We were given a pass for the whole family (6 of us!!) There were no "under the breath" comments or frosty stares…it was truly the happiest place on earth!!
On an even happier note…Ben absolutely loved Disneyland! He went on almost every ride (Pirates of the Carribean 4 times!). The only tiny transition issue we had was getting him OFF his favourite rides.
My mother-in-law was talking to a woman with an adult child with Autism who thought those of us in Lovaas ABA programs were cruel. The woman had NEVER been able to take a holiday or couldn't go out for dinner with her son and he was still not toilet trained…….when I looked at my fabulous, laughing, happy, toilet trained and well behaved little boy running with other children at Disneyland…I couldn't help thinking….who is really the cruel one?

[Debra Antifaev]

Hi Everyone,

A short note of warning for you all. I have been trying to get a crimnial record check from one of my employees, but she insists that "none of her other families require it"
PLease, please make sure that ALL of your therapists have a record check and that you have a copy of it. If the MCFD does one of their random audits of your program they will insist on seeing them.
It is a requirement for funding (the tiny, inadequate funding!!)
Also, if you do not ask your therapists for one, you make it much harder for those of us who HAVE to have one (due to Ministry audits)

Thanks,

Deb

[Debra Antifaev]

Avery, you sap, you have made me cry!

I sat yesterday with a bunch of MCFD folk who were trying to tell me the Government EIBI was a good program because there was a wait list to be on it……they will never understand.
I was starting to come a little unravelled and wondering why we bother and I am so glad you have reminded me (again) of what is important.
It all seems up hill..and there are a lot of uninformed, uncaring people to climb over on the way…..

thank you too, for being such a great advocate, and an all 'round great guy

[Debra Antifaev]

Hi Everyone,
I thought I would add my two cents also, although I usually get blasted by the "Anonymous" when I do. I am reminded of two things after reading the critical posts on this chat:
1. a homeless man with a sign that said "I could have a good job too, if I wasn't so lazy" (and please do not see this as a bash of the homeless…I am simply using his message!)
2. the tendancy of human nature to bite the hand that feeds it
So many people complain that nothing is being done and then do nothing, DOCTOR Freeman is not one of them.
This battle for science based treatment did not start yesterday, it has been going on for years and the Judge refers to the treatment as "Lovaas Autism Treatment" throughout her judgment. The Government providers were thoroughly discredited. I have been able to ask the parents of FEAT about many other autism theories or contraversial treatments and have always been directed to reading materials and web sites with alternative views to make up my own mind.
I am so grateful to Sabrina for her time and commitment to children who are not her own, she had the opportunity to bow out and leave us all swaying in the wind years ago, but her conscience wouldn't let her.
To those of you who would so casually dismiss the work that the families of FEAT have done, please…. stop and think about your own efforts…..could you have done more?
If your answer is yes…..why haven't you?

Thanks Jean, Sabrina, Avery, Robin, Barb, Bev, Maureen…..and all of you who did what others would not

[Debra Antifaev]

Hi everyone,

Following the theme of "Substantiated Treatment" options, I would like to offer my advice on a worthwhile workshop to see this year.
Dr. Bobby Newman is speaking on October 24th and I believe he will be well worth the price of admission.
So, if you can only afford to see one fabulous, informative workshop this year…….

[Debra Antifaev]

Hi everyone,

If you have been reading the CHAT of late you will notice a lot of anonymous email from people who don't really support our Autistic children or the method of intervention we have all, as parents, chosen to give them a successful life. I have a few issues that I would like to discuss with like minded parents but I am very nervous about using the FEAT chat as a forum.
It is for this reason I am asking parents of children in "approved" Lovaas based ABA programs to contact me (Government providers need not apply)I have a 6 year old son in a very successful program with the Early Autism Project.
If you are also nervous about contacting me you can call either Jean Lewis or Sabrina Freeman to confirm that I am one of the "good" guys.
I have email or phone contact with many of you, anyone I may have missed…please contact me at 604-531-1846 or email me at dmantifaev@shaw.ca

Thanks
Debra
Ben's Mom

[Debra Antifaev]

That was beautiful, Sabrina, and thanks for the reminder to appreciate how far our Autistic children have come.
As one of the parents of a younger child (who has received the limited IEII thanks to you) I find that we often forget the huge strides our children have made.

Deb
Ben's Mom

[Debra Antifaev]

Wow!
I'm with Jean, you can see now why we are fighting so hard to have properly trained people with our children.
To the anon school distict person, I would suggest you find other employment suiting your very cruel and obviously uneducated manner. Perhaps you could work in accounts receivable at Revenue Canada.
You are the very reason we are committed to properly "vetting" our SEA's. We would like to have people who actually have a little knowledge about Lovaas and Autism. I would prefer not to have someone who seems to dislike children altogether.
Just as an aside, all of the people working on my son's team either have a degree or are working towards one and are dedicated to a career in Special Needs. The woman working as my son's SEA has a BA AND her Special ED Teachers Asst (SETA) WITH HONOURS. She has worked with Autistic children for over three years, learning the Lovaas method of intervention.
I don't think you would quite measure up

Debra Antifaev

[Author]

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