[Debra Antifaev]

Thanks for responding, guys. I am always worried when I make a post that could be considered argumentative. I had to go to several professionals to receive the diagnosis of autism. I also had to pay for the "multi-disciplinary assessment" to secure the dismal bit of funding. I want to see an assessment from a recognised, reputable autism professional and I would like to challenge parents to write to their MP's to "out" this travesty. Why would this person's opinion be included in a decision that affects parents and "real" autistic children.
I would like to make the same challenge to Michelle Dawson that I have made to every person who has the gall to criticize ABA or any of the parents I know are struggling with children with autism…..
Take care of my son for ONE month.
Just one month.
I will pop in, unannounced and often, just to make sure you have not been driven by frustration to abuse him or pull your own hair out.
Only AFTER you have walked that one mile in my shoes do you get to tell me that we should not be looking for a cure for autism.
My son will NEVER live alone.
My son will NEVER be able to lobby the Government.
My son will NEVER know how to write a memo.
I will ALWAYS have to plan for his care.
His Autism affects me, my husband AND my four other children and if it affects us, then WE have a say.
If you are not prepared to care for a child that has been severely impaired by this condition then leave me alone and DO NOT speak for my child.
AAAAAARRRGG……sorry guys, but I do get frustrated……

[Debra Antifaev]

I watched "On the Brink". Very nicely done. I also looked at the CTV web-site and there is already a post calling ABA "child abuse" and asking W5 to talk to Michelle Dawson.
Now it is just my opinion, but I do not think….based on watching Ms. Dawson…that she is autistic. That is just my opinion. I am not a Doctor.
I would like to see her assessed by a well-known reputable Autism expert – like Dr. deLevie, Dr. Foxx, Dr. Davies – first.
I believe there is some real harm that can be done by people claiming to be autistic and telling others to leave them as they are. These people may truly believe they are autistic. I cannot comment on their motives. I can only comment on my motives. I want what is best for MY son and MY family.
My son CANNOT take care of himself.
If he could do a radio interview I would be thrilled.
People need to know that there are children who will NEVER be able to enjoy the freedoms that some higher functioning children will eventually enjoy.
We, the parents, have to be heard also. This affects our lives too.
Michelle Dawson does not speak for me or my son. She is free to speak for herself as long as she does not call me a child abuser (which I resent). She is free to never use ABA.
I, on the other hand, am free to say I do not agree with her message.
Make your voices heard, parents….

[Debra Antifaev]

I had a good laugh when I read this study too, Tony!
I have to ask: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg"?????
I felt pretty "normal" before my son was diagnosed.
I didn't cry for no reason.
I didn't go off on political rants.
I actually had some friends!!
We were invited out to other people's houses ALL THE TIME!(not even our families want us over now……all family dinners are held at OUR house)
I could pay ALL my bills ON TIME.
I believed that most people were honest and fair-minded.
Hmmmmmm,I have a feeling Mommy's mental state is a RESULT of having to deal with being the parent of a special needs child, not the other way around………..
What do you think?

Deb

[Debra Antifaev]

Andrew is so right,"…it ain't rudeness…" this is what some parents truly believe OR have been told by some public service employees. I have heard from parents of children with other disabilities that Autism funding is responsible for their service cuts. There is a very successful Divide and Conquer policy in this country and we all are guilty of letting it blossom.
I can't count how many times I have heard someone say they are not going to attend a function because "so and so" will be there.
I can't count how many times I have heard the parents of newly diagnosed children say that if we (the old guard)had just been a little nicer 10 years ago we would have Autism funding now.
I can't count how many times I have heard parents of special needs children (at school) say that they have had their child's SEA time cut because of children with Autism
And, finally, I can't count how many times I have heard parents state that the NDP would do a better job because they are "for the little and poor working people"
The above is all untrue, parents, and no-one should be avoiding a rally or workshop that has the potential to help their child. To quote the buzz words from the Democratic primaries….."Together we can!"
We do NOT have to all have the same opinions, politics or beliefs but we DO have to all stand together for OUR special needs children.
Keep your eyes on the prize….

[Debra Antifaev]

I have just completed the survey and would like to add my voice to Isaac's in encouraging people to fill it out. It's one of those annoying types with the different "levels" of importance place on each question……very hard to pour all your feelings into those!!!
There are also two comment sections…..so pour away in there…..
I think a few people are finally starting to listen and we can probably attribute that to Jean's "March to the Capital" and keeping Autism forefront in everyone's mind……you go girl!!

[Debra Antifaev]

Very sad story, Jemma.
I am always sickened by the fact that CLBC (Community Living BC) never seem to lessen the anguish or stress on parents or their special needs children. If anything they make our lives more stressful. This has certainly been my experience.
It is time for the money to follow the child and his/her caregiver and for the agencies that make SOOOOO much money on the backs of our children to PROVE to us that THEY are the ones worthy of providing services to US.
Only when we, the parents, have the say over how the funding is spent will there be adequate services for our children.
Thanks for posting this story Jemma!

[Debra Antifaev]

hmmmm…..I wondered when "they" would find a way to make Hewko and/or individual funding for autism responsible for all the problems in the Education and Children's Ministries.
Hewko and lack of funding are not your problem.
When I took my 10 year old into emergency because his eardrums had burst they did not tell me that there was no money left to treat him because they were broke after spending it all on a stroke victim.
They did not tell me he would have to wait on a waitlist because his condition was not life threatening.
1.Are you currently running an at home ABA program?
2.If the school is going to mention Hewko, have them put their response in writing (exactly as they have verbalized)Some people are way more comfortable deviating from the facts and truth if they think they will never be caught out.
3.Follow up ALL of your meetings with a brief letter out-lining exactly what was said, and thanking them for their time. (This is very important as it provides a record of conversations, with important dates, and also avoids confusion)
4.ALWAYS be polite, NEVER use profanity (they would love to be able to use your outrage and hurt as a reason to block you!)BUT ALWAYS stand your ground……firmly and politely.
(My husband once spent all day sitting in an office, chatting to staff and sending the Principal back in to "do better" in her effort to accomodate our child….)It's time to make that ol' Kids Matter/Teachers Care garbage stand for something.
Some schools in New West told a parent she could not be at the school during the day….this is an example of one of those deviations from the truth……get yourself a copy of the School Act/Ministry of Ed mission statements/Collective agreements/Hewko….read and be able to quote what you need.
Do not allow yourself to be bullied…these guys are masters at making you doubt your rights, etc
Write back on this chat with your actions, the results and ask for more advice…..
Good luck…

[Debra Antifaev]

They probably thought she was being "hard" on the child, too.
What a great article, Isaac.
Another off-topic question and observation:

Did anyone watch the investigative report on the "treatment" called MAPS?
It was on The National with Peter Mansbridge on Monday night. I missed the first few minutes and keep meaning to re-watch it on the web. it was about absolute quakery sold to hope-filled parents as a CURE for autism.
The Government of Alberta even funded a portion of it for a spell. It was so heartbreaking to watch, but it is the reason we must all be vigilent about checking the science and study of all treatments the "experts" try to flog to our kids.

[Debra Antifaev]

Hi again everyone!

What a fantastic turn-out at the “Medicare for Autism NOW” Rally. It was great to see so many family members, consultants, tutors, etc, joining the parents. Politicians should realise that we all have extended families and friends and we are all touched in some way by Autism.

It was so heart warming to see people donating to FEAT when they are already devastated financially by having to provide treatment for their children. One man actually opened his wallet and emptied out every last penny into the “Donation” jar.

Some people asked me where they could send donations. Please advise all of your families and friends that they can continue to support the Medicare for Autism campaign by sending cheques payable to “F.E.A.T of B.C.” to:

c/o
4485 Ross Lane
West Vancouver, B.C.
V7W 2Z2

Please remember that the few people running and organizing this drive, keeping autism in the news and meeting with MPs and MLAs are financing their own flights/travel/hotels. We have another hurdle when the feds call an election…….

Thanks again to everyone who cared enough to give up two hours of their day for ALL the victims of the disease! (And to all those who wrote offering support!!!!!)

Deb

[Debra Antifaev]

Well I stand corrected!
My 12 year old son tells me it was World War I and the singing began in French.
"How could you screw that up, Mom?", he said, "you are the one who told ME the story!"

I guess we ALL have a lot on our minds.

Please make an effort to come support children with Autism anyway!

See you all on Sunday!

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