[FEAT BC Admin]

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[FEAT BC Admin]

Board Admin. Advisory
***************************************************
Dear FEAT BC Discussion Board members:

The vast majority of members in the group are respectful of forum rules, particularly the important requirement than no member shall personally attack a fellow member of the group; only ideas can be challenged — personal attacks are impermissible. Although it is understandable that passions will occasionally flare surrounding controversial topics, nevertheless, we regularly ask that members respect the important rules posted on the "Welcome" page of the site:

1) Be courteous to each other …
2) Personal attacks are not permissible in the FEAT BC Discussion Group. We respect all opinions even if we disagree with them.

Unfortunately, a member has violated the fundamental precepts that underlie the quality and value of the Chat Board. The egregious post (dated 11/21/02) has been removed from the Board and the account has been closed resultant of the harmful breach. We very much regret having to take this measure but it is necessary, in the best interests of the forum.

Thank you.
Board Admin.

[Hetty Martin]

Nancy and Janna

Your ideas work for me!! Thanks for all you input.

Hetty

[David Chan]

Slight addnedum

I mis-quoted the teacher.

"P is without a doubt the hardest working
member of the class"

I must and always should add that he is
where he is not only because there are lots of
people that are kind, patient and generous
with him, but also that he is being treated with
science based treatment i.e. ABA THERAPY.

Never, forget who brought you to the dance as
they say.

Still in the trenches

Mr. P's Dad

Dave

[Linda Cucek]

What an excellent letter from David Chan, & Jennifer Monson, they truly are the heros of their autistic children.

The glory thing I agree is not what this is all about–if anyone should get the glory its our children, and what they go through each day! Its not about competition of parents–ITS OUR CHILDREN
that are the real heros! It makes me sick parents coming in with competition on who is the greatest one of all.

I like the quotation also from Theodore Roosevelt:
quotation by an America president regarding
the issue of glory also: It is awesome!

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win
glorious triumphs, even though checkered by
failure,than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy nor suffer too much,
because they live in the gray twilight that
knows not victory nor defeat"

Theodore Roosevelt

Regards,

Linda Cucek "James Cucek's Mom"

PS We have NO idea what our children go through each day with Autism! The victory goes to our children.

[David Chan]

I would like to respond to the glory issue.

I am not the anonymous poster, but I make no
apologies to the fact that –"I do a great job
with my child helping him/her and doing what
needs to be done." That's what my role is in
his life.

Look, the support thing is pretty darn etherial —
When a kid gets proper intevention, and starts
to improve and have a better life, that's where
the rubber meets the road.

As for glory, non of us grown ups deserve any
of it. Glory is only reserve for the truly
victorious in this little endevour — The children.
The adults in the equation are at best coaches
and sometimes referees to make sure the
there is fair play for the true combatants —
again the children.

My kid got his first term report card today. Not
perfect by any means, there are still many
things that he can't do yet. but this comment
from his teacher stuck out
"He is the hardest working student in my
class"
That dear friends is what it comes down to,
giving these kid a chance to show what they
CAN do; not what is expedient and acceptable
to us regular adults.

We've taken a stand, and try and provide these
heroic children with the oppurtunity to succeed
and reach their potential. We only provide
them with a venue, we DO none of the work.

And finally, I was reading and I found a
quotation by an America president regarding
the issue of glory:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win
glorious triumphs, even though checkered by
failure,than to take rank wiht those poor spirits
who neither enjoy nor suffer too much,
because they live in the gray twilight that
knows not victory nor defeat"

Theodore Roosevelt

Still grammatically Challenged

Mr. P's Dad

Dave

[Nancy Walton]

I think you hit the nail on the head Janna.

I do write up something for my therapists, but I call it "therapists' expectations". I do not get therapists to sign it, because there is no point. If a therapist quits with one days notice, what am I going to do? Go to court with my "contract" and demand payment for raising my anxiety level? Ofcourse not.

I just write what I would like them to do, so that I don't miss anything and we all understand what the goal is and how to get there.

Nancy walton

[Deleted User]

To the last beautiful, complimentary post.
I know I shouldn't be writing because I am one of those parents who may appear not to be fully immersed in my son's program. There is a lot more involved to paying for a $30,000 to $60,000 program than meets the eye.
There is hiring and keeping and training and paying of staff.(On a personal note I think the therapist that wrote sounds like a truly concerned and thoughtful person)
There are the needs of siblings (my son has four!)
There are the general needs of the family and the sense of obligation to "pay back" to those who fought before us.
Whenever I think of Sabrina Freeman, Avery Raskin, Jean Lewis, Barb Rodrigues, Birgitta von Krosigk, etc and think of the phrase "standing on the shoulders of giants…"
They are always available, always fighting for the needs and rights of ALL autistic children.
I remember last year when I was concerned about some one "stealing the glory" from Sabrina, over setting up a particular meeting (which shows you the kind of person I am!!!) Sabrina told me,
"let them have it, I am only concerned with the end result. Don't ever take your eye off the brass
ring…."
I don't know where I am going with this post, only to say:
Thanks to the therapist for caring enough about her charge to write,
Thanks to the parents who constantly respond to clarify,
and Thanks to the above named for the hours and hours you sacrifice for our children
"….standing on the shoulders of giants…."

[Deleted User]

Avery Raskin wrote:

“Remember that we parents have more on our plates than you could ever imagine, and we all try our hardest. The parents may not be as uninvolved as you think — it may just look that way for the hours you are there. You might think I'm "uninvolved" because I'm frequently busy doing other things … but you'd be wrong, because I do a lot of work when the team aren't there, and a lot more behind the scene.”

This needs to be in the ‘A’ dad’s manifesto – is there a technical writer in the house?

A big thanks, Avery, on behalf of all parents who do “a lot … behind the scenes.”

The thoughts are more profound than most would think. In the many years this discussion group has been up and running, Avery’s ‘behind the scene’ analysis is the FIRST time a long neglected topic has even been mentioned … the ‘unsung’ parent, the one who moves mountains and spends thousands of hours in the trenches but may not be ‘out front’ for all to see or acknowledge.

To all ‘behind the scene’ parents, we know you’re the wind beneath the wings!

Things happen when all effort goes into getting the job done, not worrying about whose gets the credit.

Anon.
(‘Cause I don’t want the credit ;)

[Deleted User]

Re: Contracts

I've never actually signed a contract. Everything so far has been done word-of-mouth.

But I think, as a therapist (having been thinking about such things last week for some reason), I have certain expectations of the families I work for, and I know they have expectations of me.

I'm expected to show up on time for sessions, and stay late if I'm late, so that the child received the proper number of hours each week. I'm expected to take proper data during sessions (this means accurate, on the correct targets). I'm expected to use appropriate ABA teaching procedures as laid out by the consultant (and they're different for each child, trust me). I'm expected to read through all the behaviour notes since my last session and check back in the data for each drill so that I am as up-to-date and current as I can be before I begin my session. I'm expected to either get someone to take my shift if I cannot make it, or give enough notice that the parents can get someone to come in for me (depending on the family). I'm expected to be at all meetings as requested by parents and/or consultants. I'm expected to keep the materials organized and clean up after a session is over.

I expect to be paid on time. I expect to have therapy materials available. I expect to have data sheets when I need them.

Aside from that, I usually sign on with a family expecting to work with their child for at least two years. I would give one month's notice before leaving any family I've worked for for longer than six months. I would give two weeks' notice if I have to leave sooner than that for some reason. I hope for the same from parents wishing to terminate my employment (for whatever reason), but I certainly don't take it personally if things don't work out that way.

-Janna (North Vancouver)

[Deleted User]

To the last Anon:

I echo your sentiments and Avery's. It's very frustrating to be on a team and feel like you're one of the few who really 'gets it'. One of my personal grievances tends to be the lack of understanding of the nature of autism (one of the children I work with has been described by a fellow therapist as 'coming out' or using 'definsive mechanisms'). That and the lack of vocabulary (I cite as an example, behaviour notes that talk of 'bribing' a child to perform well, and of course that's not what we're doing, but imagine that in court).

As Avery said, talk to the consultant. Try to get her/him alone for a moment, or ask if you can phone/email her/him at some point. Don't use names of fellow therapists when you are talking with the consultant about your concerns, just say that you think some more education might be necessary and explain what areas the team could use more help in.

Definitely talk to the parents. Do they sit in on meetings? The dad of one of the kids I work with sat in on our team meeting last week, and it was great because he finally saw what we've been teaching his son. Not much of what we're doing right now is easily generalized to the rest of the child's life, but what can be done is being practiced by his parents. That's part of why he's learning the more practical things so quickly. In another family, the mother is very involved in her children's lives, and oversees her daughter's program very closely. She is at every meeting, and I (as lead therapist) confer with her daily about where the program is going and how we might want to change things in the next little while. Meanwhile, the child's father is working very hard in the background to get her into school with an appropriate aide and attempting to interact with his little girl (albeit at a higher level than she is currently capable). He rarely (if ever) sits in on our meetings, but he is thoroughly invested in his daughter's future and wants to help us help her.

As for speaking up at team meetings, sometimes it's difficult to do so. It's kind of intimidating, to feel that you're maybe the only one who has these ideas. Just remember that you need to avoid pointing fingers. As Avery said, a little sugar goes a long way. But watch yourself for veiled personal criticism. I still chafe at the thought of a meeting where I endured a personal attack that was completely unfounded in fact. This person had been working with the child longer than I had, and was offended that the child's mother was using many of my ideas. I was being elevated to a higher position on the totem pole than she was, and she resented it, I guess. I got an earful that night, and I was told later that my face changed colour (I forget if I went red or white). But I refrained from giving her what she gave, and was congratulated later on my fortitude by both the child's mother and the consultant. You don't want to be remembered as the bitter one, trust me. Until that night, I had no personal issues with this person.

I hope this is somewhat helpful.

One more idea:

I and the lead therapist on one of the teams I work with are teaming up to pull together some information about autism and ABA. We're going to include a lot of web site addresses, as well as a book reading list and some other information we've both gleaned over time. Is there someone on the team you're talking about who you feel comfortable going to with your concerns in this manner? Perhaps you could ask the consultant to help you with it. Education is important. Whenever I propose a change to the program I'm a lead for, I give the parents, the therapists, and the consultant a copy of the information that is guiding my thoughts. Then everyone weighs in, and we decide from there. (Of course, if the consultant says absolutely not, that vote outweighs everyone else!) Perhaps the consultant just needs to be asked to give more education about autism and ABA at meetings/workshops.

[Author]

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