[FEAT BC Admin]

This area is for discussions in general topics.

Topic

[Deleted User]

Hey –

Guess What? We went on a playdate solo on Friday. Yup, all alone – no therapists or parents lurking in the bushes, or lingering for coffee.

The kids went to McDonalds for lunch and apparently after much discussion decided to pass on the toy as "Nimo just isn't as cool as Heman". (Thank God for Advanced Conversation, Gestures, Assertiveness, Social Skills Programs)

They played at the park (thank God for that "stay close" program)- and threw rocks in the water, but DIDN'T go in for a swim (we use to have MAJOR water issues – our guy LOVES water and is somewhat hypo sensitive to cold/wet).

Next they played at his buddies house: totally interactive pretend/scenario play with limited scripting (thank god for the pretend/advanced conversation/advanced emotions/social skills programs). They slayed dragons and tigers, rode starship fighters, changed their names and their characters at least twice, and generally had a great time!

But the BEST part is that when we showed up to pick up 2 hours later his friend didn't want him to go. The Friend wanted to our guy to stay and play, maybe do a sleepover… Our guy picked up on this and started in too, saying that he didn't want to leave his "best friend".

As the tempo picked up, with the friend complaining and protesting more and more loudly about our imminent departure, and the boring hours ahead without his friend, the other Mom became increasingly embarassed.

We however were proud. Proud that our non-verbal child has checked in, worked hard, learned how to talk, play and negotiate the social ground to make himself a "best friend" who did not want to give him up for a weekend away with Dad.

Our guy is still in an full blown ABA Porgram, and will probably be in one years from now. While our guy started "early", he did not start early enough and lost at least 1.5 years "tire kicking" MCFD Services. But without the ABA Therapy our guy would not have a "best friend" and a chance at "regular" playdates both as a host and as a guest.

All this to say: "Thank You" to Jean Lewis, Sabrina Freeman, and the many others, for paving the way forward, taking care to smooth out the bumps where possible and post "Danger! Danger!" signs where needed. Because of you the future looks bright indeed.

Have a Great Sunday!

the legers

[David Chan]

Hi all

Just got an e-mail from the FEAT classified
from a 17 year old who is interested in ABA
therapy. On its own, the post is not all that
remarkable because lots of people want to
help autistic people.

I think what is significant is that she got her
exposure to Autism because there was a child
in her school. Her response to a child on an
ABA program is the following:

"I am endlessly intrigued by all I learn through
the ABA program. I have been fortunate
enough to have had the chance to work with a
15-year-old Autistic girl at my school for 1 year,
and am looking to expand my knowledge of
ABA and I would like to work with younger
children as well as older."

I think the key word in her statement is
FORTUNATE, That, dear friends is why our
children should not be segregated. instead
they should be fully intergrated into the
general school population. It's not only for the
benefit for our children with autism but for the
"REST OF THE CHILDREN"

Dear friends , true awareness doesn't start
with adults and resource teachers,
consultants and therapist. It stars with
children. Telethons, and fundraisers don't
mean a thing. Until you have lived with and
interacted with that treated child in your
community. Until that happens, the same old
sterotypes will continue.

More power to our kids in REGULAR school.
NOT "special" schools.

Keep up all the good work.

Mr.P's Dad

"Yes he is in REGULAR school"

[Deleted User]

Lets shoot that first marble people!
Someone must know someone with connections to radio or T.V.. I have spoken to Sabrina about this very same thing in the past and she said she would love to be involved in it. The public service announcement does not have to be about our funding problems. It would be about awareness of autism and that Feat is there to help them.
From awareness comes the "what if this happened to us" questions.
Then you have you public outcry.

[Deleted User]

In response to the last post…the reason there is no enormous public outcry for our children is because the majority of the public is not aware of the situation. I am amazed at the amount of people that do not even know what autism is. That is not entirely their fault. Alot of people on this message board did not know what autism was either until someone crept into their little ones room one night and stole their childs beautiful little soul and left behind a little body. That someone being autism.
Some GPs don't even know what it is.
The answer to this emormous problem is education.
The people of B.C. need to be educated. Doctors, health officials, nurses, teachers, everyone.
Couples that intend on starting families need to be educated. Everyone needs to be introduced to autism and know that it could slip into their childs room one night, or maybe even their grandchilds room one night. They have to know what to look for and what to also be prepared for.
Too many of us have walked this road.
We need to inform.
It all starts with with the first marble: How about a public service announcement on the radio/tv saying something like " Did your toddler talk and then seem to loose his words?" etc. etc. "if so, this could be autism, please call FEAT"
.
You get the idea…

Knowledge is powerful…it can lead to many things.The more people know about autism…the more they will learn about our plight and the road we walk. We need to keep it on peoples minds.
I believe that if the people of B. C. were more educated, then you would see that public outcry.
Then we'd see change.

[Debra Antifaev]

I was just sitting at my computer musing about the huge public outcry when the story of Tina the Elephant was broken. How outraged people were about her cruel treatment.
It seems the discrimination of our Autistic children has hit a new low and has crossed all boundaries.
There is public outcry for racism, mistreatment of seniors, "normal" children and ANIMALS but no enormous public outcry for the "Children of a Lesser God".
It's all very sad…..

Deb
Ben's Mom

[Erik Minty]

In reply to the previous post, we've gone through the same worries and the best information I could get was that WCB is only an issue for employees, so you don't need to worry about it.

However, do check with your homeowner's insurer to see if there are any implications on your policy or premiums. There's a possibility that they could be worried about additional injury or damage claims or some other strange thing.

We didn't have to pay anything extra as it turned out, but I sure felt better for asking. A different insurer may feel differently. (Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you …)

Best of luck!

[Deleted User]

Hi
we are into our first month of running a program and are going to pay our therapists. we are paying them on a contract bases, which i have been told is the easiest way to do it. i am interested in other thing i should be thinking about ie) wcb/insurance etc. does anyone have any advice.
thanks

[David Bridges]

Dave:

That was incredibly moving, your story about the funeral. I appreciate you sharing that with us.

Sincerely,

Dave B.

[David Chan]

Hi all

Mr. P's Great grandmother died on last
Tuesday, We all gathered for the funeral
services on Saturday. Everyone was sad,
upset, all the things that people feel at
funerals.

Great-grandma had been ill for sometime, so
it did not come as a surprise to anyone in the
family. When great-grandma was went into
the palliative care unit on Friday before the
long weekend, we all sat down in our living
room and explained to both Mr. P and his six
year old sister what was happening. Our boy,
understood what was happening well enough
to say that" I am going to miss Tai-Po (what
we called great-grandma) very much" and he
started to cry; so did everyone else in the living
room.

They went to the hospital to visit a few times
during the long weekend, and Tai po was still
quite lucid, They had a good visit and they
ended with kisses and Hi-fives for the
children.

Tai-po passed away peacefully on Tuesday
night.

What has all of that have to do with Lovaas??

My wife and I were really worried about how to
explain all this stuff to Mr. P and his sister, and
how things were going to be handled during
the services etc.

First of all, without Lovaas intervention, would
we even have been able to SIT in the living
room for our little chat.

During the funeral services, we wrote out a
sequence of events will take place, he read it
and followed it. Again, would that have been
possible with out ABA intervention?

During the funeral, He leaned over and
whispered" mom is sad, but I'm not going to
cry", "I'm having really good attitude". Again,
what would he have done with out
intervention?

He stood by his grandparents and and
great-grandfather through out the day, and
asked them " are you OK ?"

Our guy did really, really good.

What did my wife and I take away from all this?

Well, Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate,
the depth of understanding of our kid. Don't
sell him short, he understood.

We must have expectations of these kids-
that's why they are doing therapy. We
expected him to behave appropriately, and he
did, the other "feelings" stuff was a gift, and we
are grateful.

Will Lovaas solve the problems of global
warming, or the SARS epidemic or Mad cow
disease. I don't think so.

What Lovaas was able to do is to give a little
boy dignity, and a chance to be part of his
family.

The way that our guy, behaved and interacted
in this past week. Great-grandma would
definately approve.

Sorry for the ramble, I just thought I would
share. So hang in there all.

We still have a long road ahead

Still grammatically challenged

Dave

P.S. sorry for the second post, I hate it when I
spot errors after I push the post button

[David Chan]

Hi all

Mr. P's Great grandmother died on last
Tuesday, We all gathered for the funeral
services on Saturday. Everyone was sad,
upset, all the things that people feel at
funerals.

Great-grandma had been ill for sometime, so
it did not come as a surprise to anyone in the
family. When great-grandma was went into
the palliative care unit on Friday before the
long weekend, we all sat down in our living
room and explained to both Mr. P and his six
year old sister what was happening. Our boy,
understood what was happening well enough
to say that" I am going to miss Tai-Po (what
we called great-grandma) very much" and he
started to cry; so did everyone else in the living
room.

They went to the hospital to visit a few times
during the long weekend, and Tai po was still
quite lucid, They had a good visit and they
ended with kisses and Hi-fives for the
children.

Tai-po passed away peacefully on Tuesday
night.

What has all of that have to do with Lovaas??

My wife and I were really worried about how to
explain all this stuff to Mr. P and his sister, and
how things were going to be handled during
the services etc.

First of all, without Lovaas intervention, would
we even have been able to SIT in the living
room for our little chat.

During the funeral services, we wrote out a
sequence of events will take place, he read it
and followed it. Again, would that have been
possible with out ABA intervention?

During the funeral, He leaned over and
whispered" mom is sad, but I'm not going to
cry", "I'm having really good attitude". Again,
what would he have done with out
intervention?

He stood by his grandparents and and
great-grandfather through out the day, and
asked them " are you OK ?"

Our guy did really, really good.

What did my wife and I take away from all this?

Well, Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate,
the depth of understanding of our kid. Don't
sell him short, he understood.

We must have expectations of these kids-
that's why they are doing therapy. We
expected him to behave appropriately, and he
did, the other "feelings" stuff was a gift, and we
are grateful.

Will Lovaas solve the problems of global
warming, or the SARS epidemic or Mad cow
disease. I don't think so.

What Lovaas was to give a little boy dignity,
and a chance to be part of our family.

The way that our guy, behaved and interacted
in this past week. Great-grandma would
definately approve.

Sorry for the ramble, I just thought I would
share. So hang in there all.

We still have a long road ahead

Still grammatically challenged

Dave

[Author]

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