[Lis Louwrier]

Apologies for my previous post. Is should have read as follows:

Dear Nancy,

Thanks for the advice. I contacted the Association here on Friday so I would ask that anyone living on Vancouver Island to contact their Association for Community Living requesting that ABA therapists be paid for so that our children may attend camps. As we all know the 500 dollars a month we get for over 6 does not even cover their basic therapy costs.

I feel that we need to argue that it is inappropriate to be matching our kids with complete strangers, especially when they are not properly trained. Social outings are stressful enough for children on the spectrum, we should not allow more obstacles to come their way nor should we be forced to keep them at home because we have been bankrupted paying for their treatment costs. How does this meet the basic criteria for inclusion?

Thanks to everyone in advance.
Lis Louwrier
Victoria, BC

[Lis Louwrier]

Dear Nancy,

Thanks for the advice. I contacted the Association here on Friday so I would ask that anyone living on Vancouver Island please contact their Association for Community Living requesting the same service so it is taken seriously. As we all know the 500 dollars a month we get for over 6. Please get the word out. It is inappropriate to be matching our kids with complete strangers. Social outings are stressful enough for them, we should not allow more obstacles to come their way We should not be forced to keep them at home because we have been bankrupted playing for their treatment costs.

Thanks to everyone in advance.

Lis Louwrier
Victoria, BC

[Lis Louwrier]

Dear Nancy:

Do you know if there is any possibility that the camp system would be applicable to those of us living in Victoria? I have had these very concerns for my son and would like to know if there is some solution across BC for ABA families who want to access camp funds for their kids.

Thanks
Lis Louwrier
Victoria, BC

[Lis Louwrier]

Dear Michelle:

Thanks for the tax explanation for therapists. That was clear and very helpful. I will print it out for my therapists.

All the best.

Lisbeth Louwrier

[Lis Louwrier]

Dear Tina

Hi there. Our son is almost 5 1/2 years old.
I had a similar experience to yourself at a birthday party last year. I too felt flustered because most people at the party did not know that my son had a diagnosis. However, I realised after that he had not been prepared for all the waiting and opening presents. At the time, I just said he did not feel well and that seem to work. We went home discussed this with consultant and team members and worked out a program to help our son with this particular social problem.

However, It can be difficult to assess when you need to say something. I feel like I am balancing this each day that he becomes older. But I use the behaviour of typical children and the advice of my consultant to measure that decision. Check with your consultant. There are all sorts of programs to deal with a variety og social situations including restuarants. See if this can be dealt with because David is right on when he says birthday parties are not going away.

Most important, don't be hard on yourself. We all have good days and bad days. This is a process for all of us…children and adults.

Cheers!
Lis

[Lis Louwrier]

Dear all (especially Kandi)

Thanks so much for your insights. I am always so amazed by the sharing nature of families running ABA programs here. My family has moved continents, received a diagnosis and set up a program in the last 3 years without family around to help and a husband who works very long hours to pay for program. Thank goodness for other families who are will to share their experiences. It makes one feel less alone in all of this.

I also realized after reading your posts that I am doing most of what you are saying anyway. M was 1 when we started therapy with R. Now M is 3.5 years old and is very involved in program play dates especially since M is a really imaginative little guy. In the beginning it was not particularly safe to have him in session due to aggression but now it is safe and they play for short periods of time. M adores R and copies him because he knows that R has a lot of skills to emulate that are truly special. R has been session up to 50 hours a week for 2.5 years. This has paid great dividends. It means he can speak, be at the dinner table, go out, make friends and go to school. We have had great moments in the last 6 months which give me some glimpse of what the future might hold for our family is we continue doing what we do.

I do spend a lot of time with M but I guess I was thinking that I need more pre-school hours over and above 2 mornings or afternoons a week. There are also many rec program set up and we do swimming with M. Having read your posts I think the answer is in spending time together having fun. I worry about M copying R's perseverative speech patterns but I imagine with new friends, this will lessen. R starts school 3 full days a week soon so M will have me to himself. Perhaps celebrating that time for him is most important of all.

Thanks for the insights and if there ar emore, please share.

Lisbeth in Victoria.

[Lis Louwrier]

Hi there everyone.

I am writing because I am interested if anyone might be willing to share their experiences with me on the effects of autism on their typical children. Has anyone found any negative behaviours occur from the typical children as a result of copying their autistic siblings? I can definately rule out autism for the younger sibling but have seen some behaviours erupting recently and can not tell what exactly is going on. The typical child is starting pre-school in September but I am considering more activities to keep him busy and not thinking about home.

I am also interested in how other families have kept siblings busy while their ABA programs are happening.

I would appreciate any feedback anyone has as this is my mind much recently.

Many thanks

Lisbeth Louwrier
Victoria, BC

[Lis Louwrier]

Hello All,

I wish I could have attended Nancy's garage sale. It sounded like a success.

I would like to know if anyone is wishing to sell or donate Sesame Street Videos, puppets , puzzles or books to our son. Our five year old son in program LOVES the old videos and I would like to use them as reinforcement for working hard all day. Kermit the Frog is his favourite man!

My email is louwrier@shaw.ca and my telephone number is 250-592-8896. I live on the Island but am willing to make arrangements to meet up.

I may have some items for younger children in program if someone is interested in a trade.

Thanks a bunch!

Lis (Ryan's mom, age 5)

[Lis Louwrier]

I am writing to thank Diane and Barb for organizing Jenny Obando's talk last night on Vancouver Island. I know it must be an effort to get it all organized. Jenny's frank and heartfelt discussion about her son's road to recovery was inspiring. Thank you for sharing your experience.

All the best!
Lis Louwrier
Victoria, BC

[Lis Louwrier]

Thank you David for posting such a great story about your son. I look for these stories to read on days when I need a little chicken soup for my soul. I hope you won't mind if I share one of my own today. It is called A day with Mr. Incredible (my son's favourite superhero).

Our son has been in a Lovaas/ABA program since May 2003 and we have run 40 hours a week since we began. There are days when I look at the bank balance and think what will happen to us but last week I put it aside for a truly great moment. Last Thursday a therapist called in sick (everyone has been ill lately) and I realized that I had to fill a four hour gap with Mr. Incredible and his little brother until the next therapy shift.

The day was beautiful so I decided to walk to the local recreation centre which is about 20 minutes by foot. So we got our stuff on and walked out the door. We made it to the centre quite happily. Mr. Incredible was singing nursery rhymes and ad libbing some tunes while his little brother Dash was sitting happily in the stroller. We then spent the next hour playing in Kindergym with a classmate from Mr. Incredible's preschool. When his friend entered, Incredible ran over and they hugged each other. Then they started to chase each other like only little superheroes aim to do. At the end of Kindergym the team leader rounded up the kids and called them to circle time. Mr. Incredible dashed over unprompted and sang songs with the other kids. He and his friend exchanged mischevous glances and I smiled from afar because I remember what those mischevous glances meant at age 4 or 5. At the end Mr. Incredible approached the team leader. He told he had a great time and gave her little hug. In his own words he said: "You did a great job lady!"

After Kindergym, Incredible was ravenous and he asked if he could have french fries from McDonalds. I said..sure but we have to walk there. So another walk of 25 minutes along a busy road full of distractors, noise, etc. In McDonalds we sat, laughed, I spilled Frutopia all over the place and he said I was a silly mommy. Afterwards, we walked home, stopped and talked to a neighbour and sang some more tunes. All in all we were gone for 3.5 hours on foot.

It was the best day of my life and I cried a happy tear. I felt normal for the first time in a long time. I am sharing this story because 2 years ago I could not leave my house nor could I invite anyone over. My son could not handle transitions, change, walks, strangers, shops, gyms, people, etc. You name it and I could not do it because he just could not manage it. He did not understand my world and I could not break into his. I thought I would never have a normal day with this beautiful child. But I was lucky to find out about ABA via FEAT, find a great consultant (Lisa Wincz) and junior consultant (Michelle Auton) and life has changed. It is hard work and there is little money but what I experienced was so special and so normal that I am sharing it because I hope that if by chance the parent of a newly diagnosed child is surfing this site, they will hear what is possible with proper intervention. This is what our children need and we all know it. It is painful that it comes at the personal expense of decent families trying to make a difference.

Today we are all sick and are running around with fevers but I have that day and I know what is possible on a day when we are healthy. I hope this message finds someone in a better place today.

All the best,
Lis in Victoria a.k.a Mr. Incredible's mom.

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