[Monika Lange]

Tanja,
You are correct about there being one hurdle after another. My son is now 18 and I now live in Calgary, but I still keep connected to FEAT BC because it was (and is) still my major support network. I would advise you to nurture your connection to FEAT as I have found it to be the major source of support for me. No one can understand the trials like those who have gone before you. Whenever I hear of a newly diagnosed child, it is with a deep sense of dread, because I think about their parents being hammered with one challenge after another. Many simply give up. With respect to ongoing trials and challenges, the best advice I can give is to prepare yourself for them. See them as inevitable speed bumps, so that when one comes along, you can recognize it as such. Somehow when things are expected, it minimizes the sense of injustice. And that is the biggest hurdle to overcome. Keep your chin up.

[Monika Lange]

Just moved to Queen Charlotte City, and am looking for part-time work. Anyone here need help with their autistic kid? I'd be interested in doing physical exercise type activities with your child. I raised my own autistic son and am experienced with ABA and the energy some kids need to expend. I can try to tire your kid out and have fun in the process! Call Monika Lange at 559-8455.

[Monika Lange]

Hi Norm,
My Mom and I have frequently commented on what a joy it is to take care of my son when he's sick, as his autism seems to be alleviated at those times. Whenever he has a fever, he doesn't stim at all, and his receptive/expressive language both have noticeable improvements. Thank you very much for posting the article links. Very interesting.

[Monika Lange]

Good job on the letter Andrew.

Not very politically correct, and yet…
entirely politically CORRECT.

[Monika Lange]

Hi Sunita,
I would consult your ABA consultant, as it could be that aspects of your daughter's program need a little adjustment. Or it could be a power struggle, in which case you'll have to push through this phase and not give in. If that's the case, and you're confident the program and your therapists are on track, then perhaps you and your husband should make yourselves scarce during therapy time for a while… use the time to get out of the house and do something nice together and/or alone. That way you'll be spared the agony of listening to all of the emotional manipulation little kids are capable of, and will be doing what's best for her and yourselves. If this is an extinction burst issue, I would suggest that you miss that scene, and it will be easier for your therapists to do their job without having their "boss" around watching their every move under such difficult circumstances.

Now I will give my own very very subjective view. Remember, all kids are born selfish, and that includes autistic ones… from the moment they come out they scream for their own needs to be met, and they don't care if you get enough sleep or how their demanding behaviour affects you. You have to train kids to be unselfish and considerate, and it usually takes the full 18 years to do a complete job of that on a typical kid. They expect you as the adult to know how to take care of yourself… so do that. Ignore your own needs at your peril. Right now, I'm guessing you need to get out of the house during therapy so you don't hear the heart rending crying of your daughter. And that little feeling of guilt you have, wondering if you're doing what's best?… get used to it… because only conscientious loving parents feel it. Take it as a compliment every time you feel it. You will need to learn how to do that if you are to keep your wits about you and not be overwhelmed by chronic stress over the next 18+ years. The reason I am philosophizing reflects my constant struggle as of late to do just that. My son is 16. But I still remember as though it were yesterday, how sad it was to hear him cry during therapy when he was 3. It truly sucks, and I know that. They say experience is what you get right after you need it. I'm trying to advance you some. If all is well with your therapists and the program, then escape from the house during therapy. Maybe your daughter is playing it up more because she knows you're there. Typical young kids do that too, when they're handed over to daycare, and the moment you leave, they stop crying and start playing. I wish you all the best.
Monika

[Monika Lange]

Can someone quickly tell me the name and phone number of a pediatrician you'd recommend in the Vancouver area? It's urgent, so please respond right away, to monika.lange@hotmail.com

Thank you!

[Monika Lange]

Yes, it seems this parental defective theory just adds insult to injury. Well, at least we're just gimped up and not cold and withholding as purported by Leo Kanner. Progress!

[Monika Lange]

I just sent this to Macleans as a letter to the editor:
I cannot pick up on any logic in Premier McGuinty’s statement: "The wait list is getting longer because the province is putting more money into providing therapy for autistic children”. This statement defies logic as there is no link between the premise and the conclusion, other than they seem to contradict each other. It seems that Premier McGuinty cannot resist using a common strategic trick to drum up support for his position: the invention of a looming and ominous crisis, the “WAIT LIST CRISIS”. The next step is to say that unless we reduce autism funding, the wait lists will get longer. This is a transparent attempt to create an alarming scenario – conveniently tied to the solution – and prophesy that if the proposed solution fails to be adopted, then ‘x’ will happen, with ‘x’ amounting to some sort of catastrophic outcome. The creation of a crisis is a tool that can be used where one really does not exist in order to further interests, and we need to be savvy to this. It simply does not follow that more autism funding causes longer waitlists, unless, of course, McGuinty is referring to the waitlist for ABA consultants (which was always a problem even before half-assed government funding grudgingly kicked in – when parents got nada-zip-zilch-zero). The short response to McGuinty’s circular argument is to simply call it what it is… idiotic.

[Monika Lange]

I need the inside scoop on group homes in Victoria. Would you please email me your phone number and I'll call you. I would very much appreciate your help. monika.lange@hotmail.com

[Monika Lange]

There is something else I want to make sure you should know about the disability tax credit… you can apply for it retroactively (up to 7 years in the past, I think?). So if your kid was diagnosed in 2000, you can get reassessed and get the credit for each of those years. This works for Federal/Provincial taxes, but I believe not for municipal property tax. But you can phone City Hall and ask.

[Author]

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