[Graham Egli]

Melodie,

Re: your son Ty diagnosis. My son was diagnosed when he was around 2 when he went into hospital for a serious viral infection. While there I casually mentioned to a doctor that Thor (my son) did not talk much. He observed Thor and told me I should have him checked for autism. Until then I had no idea he was autistic, as he looked normal and since was a baby I thought he just was slower to talk than his brother had been. In any event he eventually was diagnosed as having autistic spectrum. The diagnosis took a long time to obtain as he was put on waiting lists to obtain one. Then he also had to eliminate other possible items such as deafness by taking hearing tests etc. Once I had the diagnosis I was in shock and confusion as I did not understand what exactly was wrong with Thor, it is not like a fever or broken leg that you see understand and know how to have fixed. After many calls to support groups, government services and seeing doctor after doctor along with reading on autism I started to understand and began the process to set up ABA therapy. This too is an adventure trying to find and secure consultants, therapists organizing training etc. The good news was that being diagnosed young gave Thor at least a chance of recovery. Thor has been in ABA for 2 years now and though it has been stressfull in many ways on him and the family, he is making progress and he is improving. How far will he develop, I am not sure, but he does keep moving forward each week so I remain hopeful. My advice is start Ty in ABA therapy if he recieves the diagnosis of autism and in meantime read and talk to others and learn all you can. Keep going and keep hope, Ty can be helped with time and effort and attention. Graham (Thor's Dad)

[Graham Egli]

To Andrew's parents Alex & Sasha,

Our son was diagnosed a few years ago. You are lucky first to have a diagnosis as often these are hard to obtain or come later in life. Our experience is one that requires the whole family parents and siblings to sacrifice. Time, household order and fatigue not to mention economic stress and strain all come into play. You will get tired, very tired. No question to try and help Andrew will be an enormous effort on your part. The payoff is the hope that he will be able to function in society as he grows up. Not to help him would be ensuring him a lifetime of problems and troubles. My best advice to you is to start the program ASAP try for as many hours therapy as you can get, but take as few as are available. Consultants and therapists are hard to find, keep plugging. One or both of you can also be a therapist. Be prepared for chaos around the house and your schedules. Try and make time for yourselves if possible even an hour alone will help avoid tension and burn out. Be prepared to hear Andrew cry and yell during therapy it hurts to hear but once you know and understand ABA you also understand that he really is not suffering as much as complaining. Though ABA is at times still hard to take as a parent as you always try to protect your child and changing his behaviour will upset him. Consultants and leads will drive you nuts with their ABA babbblegoop language ( I am not sure why but they don't like to talk in plain English)You will get frustrated keep trying, go on. You will gasp at the money flowing keep trying go on. Ask any one you know if they want to be junior therapists to add hours to the therapy, kids at the local Y, neighbours children, students etc. Remember always you are helping Andrew and you have to go through the years of effort to do so. Read books and articles educate yourself, join groups, hound the government (and be prepared for little assistance there)talk to people explain Andrew's problem don't hide it it is not his fault he is different. Treat him as normal as you can. Do not talk about "him" in front of him he probably hears everything and understands even if he doesn't verbalize back. Remember to give Andrew childhood things that he would normally receive, trips to park, ice cream, parties etc. He will appreciate the diversion from therapy, as therapy is work for him. Above all just keep trying and start as soon as you can every day he has help is important. Delay is not an option. You'll make it I promise.

Graham (Thor's(4 years old) Dad)

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